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4/27: Pistons beat Sixers, tie series

Well, look, we knew that the Pistons are the obviously better team. The Sixers are a plucky bunch of overachievers who play hard and win games by annoying and confusing and tiring out their opponents. So it was really a bit too much to ask the Sixers to go up 3-1 in the series. But really, did the Pistons have to choose halftime to suddenly get interested and start playing well? They couldn't have dropped another one and then turned it on for Game 5 and then lost a close one in Game 6? I've never seen two halves of a game be so wildly different (well, maybe I have but blocked it out, you know how the Eagles can be)... the first half was a wild dream come true, and we really believed, the whole arena really believed, that maybe we can win this series. That the Pistons were old and slow and had stopped caring and just didn't have another run at the title in them. Hello, I've hidden this sentence in the middle of this paragraph to personally thank everyone who has bothered to read it, because although I don't fully understand the information I'm getting from StatCounter it basically looks like absolutely nobody in the world is reading this blog and I'm starting to feel like I'm expending entirely too much energy on a project that is increasingly looking like a giant waste of my time, so if you're actually reading this then thank you. But then, the Pistons dominated the second half, which was profoundly depressing and demoralizing and all kinds of horrible.

But... it's not over yet, and if there's one thing the Sixers have been good at all year, or at least during their run of non-horribleness, it's bouncing back from bad games. We won't go all the way, and maybe we won't win this series, but the guys aren't going down without a fight. Look for some classic Sixers basketball tomorrow night in Detroit.

And because nobody cares either way, I'm going to put off my thoughts about tonight's Flyers win until tomorrow.

GO SIXERS!!!

I'll have some thoughts about last night's terribly sad Sixers game in a little while. I just jumped on here to say Go Flyers. This is probably where a Twitter page would come in handy.

GO FLYERS!!!

4/26: Flyers 4, Habs 2
4/26: Phils 8, Pirates 4
4/27: Pirates 5, Phillies 1

I kind of half-watched the Flyers game over my shoulder as I hung out with my cool friends at The Pope. According to Phil Sheridan the Flyers played pretty badly and were lucky to escape with a win, and that they would've lost without Marty. That might very well be true, but given how they were robbed and cheated and screwed in Game 1, leading to the loss, I will take it. (God I can't even think about that game, it makes me want to commit hate crimes.) Anyway, hot goaltending wins in the NHL playoffs, so yes, I will also take Marty singlehandedly winning games and series for us. Sounds fine.

We caught the very end of the Phils after the Flyers game ended, and it seemed like everything went fine there. Andrew had a somewhat drunken conversation about how great the Phils are: our somewhat drunken theory is that they are very, very good, and will, any day now, work out whatever problems they've had during April, i.e., once Jimmy and Shane are back, and Ryan starts hitting, they will be unstoppable. I really do believe that, though they decided to challenge my faith today by only getting two hits off Paul Maholm and not pitching all that well. Still, 5-2 road trip, I'll take that.

How great would a Sixers win be tonight? It would be this great (and if you were here, you'd see me holding my hands really far apart). Can they really do it? Have they really rattled the Pistons and caught them completely off guard? Are they - bear with me here - are they the better team? I don't know. This is the most crucial game. If they come out prepared... if they keep playing Sixers basketball... and, yes, they get a little lucky... then there might be no stopping them.

GO SIXERS!!!

RUN WITH US

4/25: 76ers 95, Pistons 75

Yeah, that's right, national media and Pistons fans. You just keep believing that the first game was a fluke, that the second game was the "real" Pistons. Just keep believing you can run with us. We like flying under the radar. Actually, what we really like is the other team committing lots of turnovers and missing like 40 shots in a row.

I hope the Flyers were watching tonight, and learned a little something about defying expectations (and holding onto leads).

Oh yeah, and the Phils won. Didn't see it, but I'm sure it was fine.

GO FLYERS!!!

From whowins.com:

In the history of best-of-7 NHL playoff series from 1939 through 2007, inclusive, teams trailing by one goal with only 0:30 left in regulation had only a 10-747 (.013) game record, irrespective of site. Thus, just before Montreal tallied the tying goal with 0:29 left (and the winner in the first overtime minute), the historical probability of a Canadien victory was only 1.3%.

I hate everything and everybody.

And yet, no rest for us loyal Philadelphians; I'm off to the Center in just about an hour.

GO SIXERS!!!

Birthday post!

I took a walk in the sunshine today at lunch, and headed over to aka where I found the first two Mary Timony albums, which I'd been looking for, just sitting there in the used section, right in front. I always find it weird when I find a CD I'm looking for just sitting there in plain sight; I feel like it was too easy and I didn't earn it.

But enough of my ranting, let's get to the sports!

4/23: Pistons [some score], 76ers [some considerably lower score]

Yeah. Look, you know and I know that the Pistons are the better team. I'm not stupid. Neither are Mo Cheeks or the Andres or anybody else. But, I prefer to just chalk this one up to "Well, the Sixers caught the Pistons off guard in Game 1, so they won, and then the Sixers maybe got the slightest bit cocky and forgot that the Pistons are much better, so they didn't play their best game and lost, and in Game 3 and beyond everything will even out". Also, I hope to never write anything so clumsy and artless ever again.

4/23: Brewers 5, Phillies 4

I love Cole, I really do, but he's gotta know that he can't just stay in every game for 9 innings and 130 pitches every time. Charlie, we have a good bullpen this year! Like, literally: they're actually really good! Use them! Hey, speaking of good bullpens:

4/24: Phillies 3, Brewers 1

It's always fun when you completely forget they're playing a day game, and then a coworker wanders by your office and says "Hey, the Phils won!" Judging from the box score, this was a solid pitching effort all around. I repeat: we have a good bullpen. Start scoring some runs consistently and nobody can stop us.

I have a stat counter now, so I'll know exactly when you people are here and where you're at. As of this writing, there have been two visitors since last night, both of whom looked at the blog for a total of 0 seconds. Yeah! Thanks for stopping by.

I know what else I want for my birthday, and it starts in 40 minutes.

GO FLYERS!!!

The 300th Phillies Diary Post!

4/22: Flyers 3, Caps 2 (OT)
4/22: Phillies 8, Rockies 6

Tremendously exciting night for the Flyers, winning their first playoff series since beating Toronto in 2004. (That feels like 4 million years ago.) This year, I rediscovered how gutwrenching playoff hockey is and how super-gutwrenching overtime playoff hockey is and how unbelievably ultra-super-gutwrenching an overtime Game 7 is. Actually, I've never seen one: the only other time it happened in Flyers history was against the Caps in 1988. I'm not sure what I was doing in spring 1988, but it probably involved Legos, and it wasn't following hockey.

Anyway, I was pretty amped about the win, as you might imagine. (I like it when the Flyers win.) Bring on the Habs! I'm hoping for an appearance of Youppi.

Meanwhile, the endless trash talk and anti-Philly bias continues in various sources re: the win over the Pistons that I didn't even see. On the ESPN message boards Pistons fans are calling it a "fluke" and promising the utter destruction of the Sixers any minute now. (Never mind the fact that the Sixers have now won three in a row over DET.) Now, granted, it's a mistake to put any stock in anything that's said on the ESPN message boards, they being the absolute nadir of human interaction. That said, this sort of stuff always annoys me, and I won't go into detail about the levels of depravity I would sink to in exchange for seeing the Pistons get increasingly mauled and humilated as the series goes on. (Well, I wouldn't do anything.)

Also meanwhile: I didn't see much of the Phils/Rockies game but I was pleased by the news. Just to play devil's advocate: were I a Rockies fan (which I am most assuredly not) I would be livid about how they walked Ryan Howard (currently hitting like .032 (I just made that number up)) to get to Pat Burrell (arguably the NL's hottest hitter right now). That doesn't make any damn sense. Fortunately, the Phils were the beneficiary of this nonsense, and we're over .500 for the first time in what feels like, oh, many months. The Phils are in Milwaukee ("The Good Land", as Alice Cooper reminds us) tonight... keep it up, boys.

GO SIXERS!!!

Wrong hat, I guess

What a busy weekend for me to miss! I've been up in Massachusetts for three days and missed an epic amount of Philly sports. (By the way, I've always suspected this, but this is the first time I've been able to confirm it firsthand: the Red Sox up there are like the Eagles down here, except times 10. Every other person I saw was wearing a Sox hat or shirt or jacket or pants or something. I'd be pissed off about it, but they're on their own turf, so I've got no real problem with it (just the fake problems of jealousy, vindictiveness, being a general jerk, etc.). It's only when "Red Sox Nation" [cut to me vomiting profusely] starts bleeding into every other region of the country, that's when those people get reprehensible. I think since October 2004, not a SINGLE DAY has gone by that I haven't seen somebody in a Red Sox hat... and I live 300+ miles from Boston! I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to take these people before I start committing hate crimes.)

(On the subject of Boston scumbags, Bill Simmons has a new column this week - uncharacteristically about hockey - which might be the most despicable thing he's ever written. Just a bunch of arrogant, hypocritical, poorly argued, poorly researched garbage. But that's all I'm going to say about it, because I'm trying to wean myself off of getting upset about that guy's dumbass rantings. I'm not even going to link to it, for which you should probably thank me. (Though if you really want to see another installment of "Dumb Things That Bill Simmons Said", I do take requests.))

Where was I before I started complaining about irrelevant things like a jerk? Oh yeah. So, I missed both Flyers games, and they lost both of them. I'm certainly not suggesting that my presence is required in Philadelphia for them to win, because that would be crazy talk. On the other hand... I'm just sayin'. I've returned home to find a Game 7 waiting for me. Puck-dropping occurs at 7 PM and that's where my eyeballs will be pointed.

I have no idea what happened in those two games but at the very least I'm upset about the loss of momentum, hockey being a game of having and/or not having momentum. Actually, I guess that describes pretty much all sports. I'm not sure what my point is beyond just saying that if the Flyers go back to playing some good ol' Flyers hockey, and not let Divey McScoresgoals take over the game like he seems to feel the need to do, they should be okay. Let's do it!

Meanwhile, I asked Andrew to text me Sixers score updates on Sunday night while I was busy at the seder. And then, of course, I completely forgot that I has asked him that, so when I finally checked my phone at like 1 AM there were eight messages from him relating the weekend's most thrilling narrative: the Sixers' win over Detroit in Game 1! Fantastic stuff. I'm very excited about Game 2 tomorrow, but having said that I can only concentrate on the Flyers right now, so thoughts about the Sixers will have to wait.

And then there's the always perplexing Phillies. I made kind of an ass myself at the game on Friday, which I'm not proud of. Greg Dobbs hit a huge home run to cut the Mets' lead to 5-4, so I turned toward a big section of Mets fans nearby, gave 'em the finger, and started a "NEW YORK SUCKS!" chant. There were probably a few f-words in there somewhere too. Anyway, then I turned to my dad, who was just sort of shaking his head, and he said "We're still losing, you know." And of course, he was right, and we never took the lead at all. My dad's not big on displays of poor sportsmanship. He's a good guy, and a better man than I.

Anyway, turns out Johan Santana is really good. I'm not ready to hand the Mets the division title or anything, I mean I'm not Tim Kurkjian over here, because they still have to win on the other four days Santana's not pitching. I still think we match up really well with them, and I suppose I'm looking forward to our next matchup with Santana to see how that goes. None of this, of course, can help the fact that he shut us down on Friday and we lost.

And then they lost the Saturday game, and won the one on Sunday, and won the one last night. They're 10-10. Who are the real Phillies? The home run hitting powerhouse with the much better than expected pitching? Or the clumsy, error-prone, non-hitting, non-pitching sloppy dudes? I have no idea. It's April 22. Give 'em time.

Not happy about Jimmy on the DL, and I reserve judgment on the various gaggle of callups that happened in my absence. I've sort of written myself into an obvious hole with this ridiculous Husker Du song thing, but I'll give it a try with the new guys:

Chris Snelling: "From the Gut"
T.J. Bohn: "Friend, You've Got to Fall"
Brad Harman: "Too Far Down"

Puzzle over that, won't you? Gotta go.

GO FLYERS!!!

Sixers/Pistons preview

I realized while writing the last post that I should come up with some kind of Sixers preview. I sort of feel like I'm one of their biggest fans these days - since their last playoff appearance in 2005, the Sixers have declined steadily in attendance, and it seems like nobody really takes them all that seriously. I don't even think they've sold out their playoff games, although they did sell out a few games during their stretch drive. My guess is that the city is just skeptical: we love the team, we know they're fun to watch, but it doesn't seem possible that they can keep scrapping their way to wins, especially not against the powerful Pistons. And... yeah, I mean, I don't like making predictions, and I don't like picking against my teams, but... yeah, it's going to be tough.

Still, not too long ago this team was 18-30 and seemed well on their way to yet another wasted year, yet another night watching the draft lottery. But they had an unbelievable February and March, and here we are.

I hate the Pistons. I'm just going to lay that out there. I can't stand them and I'm really, really sick of them. I know that as a Sixers fan I'm supposed to hate the Celtics and Knicks and Lakers (and I do, oh yes, I do), but it's the Pistons that have caused me the most heartbreak and annoyance and pain over the past five years or so. They eliminated us in 2003, and then did it again in 2005 (AI's final playoff appearance in Philly). I feel like every year my season tickets include one Pistons game, and we always lose it. They're just always better than us and it's getting old.

And it's always the same team, too: Hamilton, Billups, Prince, Wallace, McDyess, that other guy. It feels like that's been the Pistons for like 12 years now. They never get any older, they never stop being exactly as good as they are. They just show up, beat the Sixers, and leave.

Of course, I don't think it'll be a sweep, and I think the Sixers will keep the games close. Unlike in 2005, this is a team on the rise. It should be fun, no matter what happens. It's the 2009 Sixers that'll really surprise everyone...

Dear reader(s), I have been remiss. I promised you up-to-the-second coverage of the Phillies season, or at least a rough approximation of same, but instead have brought you nothing lately but shoddy, despicable journalism. But then, there's a lot of that going around lately.

Let's bring you up to speed:

4/16: Astros 2, Phillies 1
Nice start from Kyle K., but the bats just couldn't get it going. Which is retroactively ironic in light of...

4/17: Phillies 10, Astros 2
See, everything's fine. So far, despite the 8-8 record and the tough Mets series ahead, I really think the Phils are in pretty good shape. They've had great starting pitching, great relief pitching, and the hitting is coming around, even with two starters hurt. The ridiculous errors seem to have dropped off too. I'll be at the Hamels/Santana duel tonight, sure to be one of the greatest baseball games ever played.

Oh yeah, and this:

4/17: Flyers 4, Caps 3 (2OT)
It's only been two years but it feels like forever since there's been playoff hockey around here. I had kind of forgotten how much I love it, and how happy a Flyers playoff win makes me. Not as solid an all-around effort in this one, not like Games 2 and 3, but I'll take the win and the guys are in good shape. I'll miss Game 5 tomorrow, but I have total faith in them!

Next: I'll be away for a few days, so you'll either have to just guess what Philly sports teams do and hope you're right, or you can try some other, more reliable news source. Up to you. Anyway, we've got Flyers/Caps Game 5 tomorrow, Sixers/Pistons Game 1 on Sunday, and the big Phils/Mets series starting in a matter of hours.

Cole Hamels on facing Johan Santana:

"I don't even care," Hamels said. "The guy could have eight arms and it's not going to bother me."

Yeah, kind of weird, Cole.

4/15: Total Philly Fantasticness

Flyers 6, Caps 3
Phils 4, Astros 3

I'm starting to love this Flyers team. I mean, I love them anyway, it's what I do, but these guys, these are some hockey-playing guys. Really excellent effort tonight, even after ridiculous diving from Ovechkin (well, maybe, or maybe he was really hurt, I'll never know) and a controversial goal. I was all set to rant about how we got screwed a third day in a row, but you know what? Tonight's not a night to harp on the negative. Beautiful goals, some really smart play, and the near-total shutting down of the Caps. Great stuff. Hard to believe these guys were so wretched just a year ago.

So, after the final horn sounded, I begrudgingly flipped over to the Phillies, assuming they would be losing, because every time I flipped over during the night they were getting mowed down by Shawn Chacon (SHAWN CHACON!) and looked generally terrible and weak. But no, they were tied 3-3 with a man on first and Pedro up to bat! And Pedro batted that man in and we won! (Jenkins looked like he was probably out, but I'm not paid to decide that, so I'll take it.) Is this the turning point???

Next: Tomorrow, the final Sixers regular season game, and more Phils/'Stros. Flyers/Caps Game 4 on Thursday. Feelin' good about it.

April 13-14: Philly screwed by incompetent officiating

4/13: Cubs 6, Phils 5
4/14: Cavs 91, Sixers 90

Well... I'm actually not going to go on a rant here, really. One, I kind of want to go to bed. Two... the sad truth is that although both teams were subjected to weird, annoying calls that make me hate sports, neither is actually worth ranting about, for the following reasons:

In the Phils' case, they didn't lose because of the Cubs' phantom home run, they lost because they left too many men on base and the same mysterious sloppy error-ing that's plagued the team all year. Still, the not-HR is really annoying, and I don't have to like it.

And then tonight, I personally watched the Sixers win a game in the final seconds (following a furious fourth quarter rally, which came after a long, puzzling middle section of the game where both teams looked really bored)... but then after a few minutes the officials decided that there had been a foul on the final play, so they put 0.2 seconds back on, the Cavs sunk both of their free throws, and, of course, we lost, because how the hell can we get a shot off in 0.2 seconds? Replays showed that Sammy D did, indeed, foul the dude, so there you are. It was probably legitimate. I've calmed down enough to acknowledge that. (At the time, I was probably as profane as I've ever been in a public place in my life. Plus I gave the refs the finger.) What I'm still pissed off about, and probably always will be, is the absurd lack of communication between the refs and the players (the Sixers and their coaches were already in the locker room while the refs were deliberating) and especially the fans - many of whom had already bailed for the exits, and the rest of us had no idea what was going on. I mean, get on a mic and explain yourself. Don't leave us standing around for a minute, two minutes, five minutes, whatever it was, trying to decide if we should keep celebrating the win or not, getting increasingly surly and annoyed. That's just garbage, and a terrible way to treat your customers (on Fan Appreciation Night no less!). The NBA really blows sometimes. David Stern is falling all over himself trying to find new ways to rape the city of Seattle in the ass, but he can't find time to hire competent, non-corrupt refs. What a terrible, stupid disaster of a game... I've never, ever seen anything like that in person before, and I hope I never do again. Weak.

So to cheer myself up, let's just recall the weekend's highlight:

4/13: Flyers 2, Caps 0

Now that's more like it! The Flyers, particularly Marty, looked fantastic. Keep that up and we're in good shape. It got me thinking, though: most hockey fans, and certainly the league, are rooting for Ovechkin to advance, because he's a great player and fun to watch. But, of course, I'm not; I want the Flyers to win. I wouldn't mind if Ovechkin never scores another goal this year, and indeed is a nonfactor for the rest of the series. That's fine by me. Which got me thinking, would I rather my team won, or would I rather be entertained? (Why do I even watch sports at all?) I mean, think about it: Red Sox/Rockies was, by any standard, one of the worst and most boring World Series ever, but you don't see Red Sox fans complaining about it. To put it another way: somebody says to you, "Okay, either the Phillies (or the Flyers, or whatever your favorite team is) will win the World Series (or Stanley Cup/NBA Finals) over the Yankees (or Red Wings/Lakers) in four extremely boring games, OR the Phillies and Yankees will play seven of the most thrilling, nail-bitingly exciting and incredible baseball games you've ever seen or possibly ever will see, but the Phils will lose Game 7"... which would you pick? At this point, I'd pick the Phils winning, and a part of me (a small part, but a part nonetheless) feels like maybe it's the wrong pick. What do you think?

Next: Flyers/Caps Game 3! Phils/Astros! And the Sixers are so angered and motivated by tonight's debacle that they destroy Charlotte on Wednesday, and then storm through the playoffs and go all the way!!!

4/12: Phils 7, Cubs 1

"I wish I could go back to the beginning of the season... put some money on the Cubbies!"
-Charles Fleischer, 1989

Anyway, great game, with my dad and I in attendance. Cole looks incredible, and the hitting is picking up, even without the MVP in the lineup (and it looks like Shane might be out now too... injuries suck, one wonders if we could have won 100 games with a healthy lineup last year!)

Our section (418) has become the "group" section where they stick groups. Sometimes you don't even notice, other times the groups are horrible. Last night we were surrounded by the douchiest bunch of douches who ever douched. They were total douches. I felt like I was actually in the douche aisle at Rite Aid. I mean - here's the thing. No human being is capable of yelling loud enough that a baseball player can hear them yelling all the way from section 418. Maybe if he was the only fan in the entire stadium, but not in a sellout crowd of 45K. So either (a) they're not aware of this simple principle, in which case they're morons, or (b) they know this, and the yelling is not really for the benefit of the players, and they're just trying to be funny and entertain the crowd. The latter seems more likely, in which case they're douchebags, and they need to understand that they're annoying and not funny and I hate them.

I mean, really, do you have to be that goddamn shrill and loud? I don't mind booing a Cubs pitcher for continually throwing to first base to hold a runner (it's a sound baseball strategy, but it's a proud baseball fan tradition to find that annoying and boo it) but do you have to scream "THROW IT ACROSS THE PLATE, YOU COWARD!" in the shrillest voice possible, right in my ear? Ted Lilly can't hear you, goddamn you. I, however, can, and I want you to stop.

How do you even get that shrill? Do you need to take a class?

But he was not the douchiest 'bag in attendance. There was also "Jump Up And Start Celebrating Every Time The Phils Put A Ball In The Air, Even Though It's Probably A Routine Fly To Center And You're Blocking Me" Guy, and the Alpha Douche, "Really Loud, Really Profane Dude With Miller Lite Bottles Littered Under His Seat" Guy. I mean he really kept yelling things like "Hey Soriano, I fucked your mom!" I don't even know what he said. It was stupid, unfunny, lame, and just... god, it was just so stupid. I know he was doing it because he thought it would be funny to be loud and annoying on purpose, but I'm trying to watch the game, you goateed scumbag.

I mean, is it me? Am I the wrong one here? Is empathy for other human beings - a knowledge that other people are around me and that they probably don't need or want to hear whatever deranged rantings spill out of my mouth at high volumes - is it a disease? Am I supposed to shed that in order to succeed in life - indeed, in order to evolve? How horrifying.

On a related note, this kind of worries me in terms of the new soccer team, because soccer fans have this idea in their head that they have to stand up for 90 minutes and sing and yell nonstop, and people who "just sit there" are dumb, lame, boring American corporate sellout assholes. I don't want to get hassled or insulted by these people. I mean, I really like soccer, but I like the game, and if I'm paying to watch it I'm going to sit and watch it. Just because I'm not screaming and yelling and painting my face doesn't mean I don't care. Just because I'm not screaming insults at Ryan Theriot doesn't mean I don't really, really care whether or not the Phillies beat the Cubs. I care a lot - probably too much - so screw you.

Speaking of caring too much, Flyers/Caps Game 2 is in just over an hour! Like I said, I have no idea what really happened in Game 1, so I don't feel qualified to give you any kind of intelligent commentary or preview on today's game. I'll just say... come on, Flyers, if you can get a two goal lead on them, you can do it again... but for crying out loud, hold onto it this time.

After that, I'm off to my writer's group where this week I'm presenting a new story called "Dead Mouse". Well, it's not really new, I started it about six months ago and it's coming along very slowly. It's a nice break, though, from the editing of Analog which is going okay, but slower than I had hoped (partly for creative reasons, partly because I have the attention span of a goldfish and I'm easily distracted by the baseball standings and Kristen Schaal videos). I'm rewriting an entire sequence right now and I'm struggling with it a bit, but I think I'll get it eventually. I always do.

Anyway, "Dead Mouse" is fine, plus I baked a coffee cake for the group.

Next: Flyers/Caps Game 2, as previously noted; Phils go for the sweep.

Now playing: The Futureheads, "Decent Days and Nights"

Roundup of recent professional athletic contests

I have a few hours today to work on my book and do other productive things which is really exciting. But first, here's all the games I missed:

4/10: Mets 4, Phils 3 (12 innings)

Saw the very beginning of this, and then I went out to a bar where I saw the middle of it (when the Phils tied it up) and then I missed the whole ending. I didn't see the play at the plate which Chris Coste has been complaining about, so I will abstain from that particular debate (except to say that the Phils are probably right).

4/11: Phils 5, Cubs 3

Missed this whole game too. The only part I really saw was on a bar TV where I saw Brad Lidge high fiving Carlos Ruiz; I figured at that point it was safe to assume that everything was okay.

4/11: Caps 5, Flyers 4

Yeah, I missed all of Game 1. I was out seeing a film at the Festival called You, the Living which was really cool and beautiful. I figured I could afford to miss at least one game. I saw Ovechkin's goal at the very end in the same bar; I also heard that they blew a two goal lead. Beyond that I am unable to speak intelligently about this game at all. In that sense, I have no idea why I'm making you read this blog, which at the moment is less a sports blog and more a not very interesting diary of a guy who does other things while sports are happening on the periphery of his life, except that I'm not telling you very much about what I'm doing, therefore it's pointless.

To make up for it, here's a great interview with the Kids about their impending tour (I'm seeing them at the Keswick on 4/30), with some fascinating revelations about how they work and a look back at some of their more notorious sketches. I always love hearing about the creative process of my favorite artists, particularly these guys, because I find it very thrilling and inspiring. Perhaps you will as well.

Speaking of comedyness, I got front row seats for Flight of the Conchords, almost certainly the most exciting thing that's ever happened, at least this week.

Finally - waiting with bated breath for the NBA playoff schedule - Andrew and I have tickets! Thus making the next few weeks of my life endlessly complicated.

Next: I'll be at tonight's Phils/Cubs game; Cole gets the ball. The Flyers will try to even up the series tomorrow afternoon; I'll probably get to see this one. Go get 'em, men.

4/9: Mets 8, Phils 2

Well, we knew they'd lose one to NY eventually. I'm less concerned about the loss than I am about two things: ONE, Kendrick looked awful. I mean, really awful. The kind of awful that Gavin Floyd was pretty consistently and made us give up on him. I'm not ready to give up on Kyle, but... for cryin' loud, that was ugly. But not quite as ugly as TWO, all the errors! We actually lead the league in errors! Knock it off with the errors!

So, I have to admit I pulled an Irv when the Mets went up 5-1. I was really more watching the Sixers, and, well, you know how it is. It's April, they'll be fine.

Next: Rubber game, baby!

4/8: Phils 5, Mets 2

What happened: What happened? Lots of great things, that's what! Here's a few: (1) The Phils won. (b) The Mets lost. (4) Good game from Jamie Moyer, and a very good game from the bullpen. (5a) They won without hitting any home runs, and I have this thing where I like when they do that, because it's good to know, once in a while, that they're not a one-trick pony. Come on guys, manufacture some runs! Run a little small ball! (On the other hand, if they're just gonna mash four home runs every day like they did on Monday, that's fine too. I'm not even sure what my argument is.) (vi) They get to 4-4, and they get the season series with the Mets off to a good start. I mean, it's just one game, on April 8, I'm not going to get that excited about it... there's still 17 more against these guys, plenty of time for them to figure out how to beat us, assuming they can. Heh heh. (F) Endy Chavez hit into a double play. Heh heh. (7.2.1) Today was my second day biking to work, and I feel great. Maybe it's some kind of placebo effect but I already feel healthier and thinner. I think I'll celebrate tonight with a burger and some beer. (₤) Flight of the Conchords are playing the Tower Theatre on May 5! No word yet on an opening act but... oh, can you imagine??? [swoon]*

Next: That the best you got, Mets? Bring it on!

*Sharon, feel free to just punch me in the head.

4/7 Phils 5, Reds 3

There, see, that's more like it. Lots of home runs, Cole shuttin' guys down, Lidge gets the save (after a bit of drama, but I'm willing to give him some time). I was at work during this one, but I kept checking it, of course, and was very pleased.

Next: Time to go out to Shea and meet the Mets.

4/6 Reds some number, Phils some lower number

What happened: I was out having fun with my friends and enjoying life, so I missed the whole thing. I heard they lost. Brett Myers hasn't been so great, but I'm not worried. The season's not even a week old, man. They'll be all right.

More interestingly, the Flyers won their final game and will play the Caps in the first round. Flyers in the playoffs! It's only been two years but it feels like forever. I'm psyched.

Next: The playoff schedule isn't out yet, so I'll have to wait until tomorrow to find out how much these games will take over my life. Plus the Phils have one more game against the Reds, of whom I am officially sick.

4/5 Reds 4, Phils 3

What happened: One of those weird games where they don't play well enough to win, but not poorly enough for me to get crazy and write long, angry essays that no one will ever read. Adam Eaton looked okay, which is promising. The hitting is still not quite there, though Utley is amazing so far. Is Chad Durbin that horrible, or was he just tired? I'm going with tired for now.

Brad Lidge is officially on the team! Tim Lahey, we hardly knew ye (didn't know you at all, in fact). Brad Lidge's song... hmm... I'll say "First of the Last Calls" because he's the closer, so he's the "Last" pitcher, and you make a "Call" to the bullpen... eh??? Yeah, it's terribly lame. Next year I'll try Rush songs, so he can have "Closer to the Heart".

Next: More of the Reds; baseball will be played.

4/4: One of the best Philly sports days in a long, long time...

Phils 8, Reds 4 (yeah!)
Sixers 109, Hawks 104 (YEAH!)
Flyers 3, Devils 0 (YEAH!!!)

What happened: The Sixers and Flyers clinched playoff spots on the same night, within about half an hour of each other - a development so thrilling and fantastic that it actually makes me kind of emotional, proving conclusively that I am out of my mind. I have no idea if they've ever clinched on the same day before - how do I look that up? The Flyers game was spectacular - they've rarely looked so dominant against the hated Devils, and I can't really recall seeing Brodeur ever being pulled against the Flyers before. The Sixers looked solid - playing with a lot of energy and confidence. The final six games are still important, because they're still jockeying for position, so I hope they keep it up.

I must admit that I was not aware that they both could have clinched last night. At some point it was announced that if the Flyers won and the Canes lost, they were in... so during the game we were getting Panthers/Canes updates (probably the first time in my life I've ever rooted for the stinkin' Panthers). Right after the Flyers, I switched over to the Sixers, where Marc Zumoff informed me that the Sixers would clinch with a win... and then the Flyers score appeared, and Marc excitedly announced that the Canes had lost and the Flyers were in. The Sixers were locked in a close battle at that point, but I knew they'd pull it out. These things are only exciting to me, of course, but it was a great moment.

Oh yeah, and the Phils won. They looked good.

Next: With the Flyers and Sixers both in the playoffs, I won't accomplish anything productive for the next few weeks. And if the Phils get off to a hot start at the same time - forget it, you'll be lucky if I remember to shower.

Just to keep this blog on topic: Adam Eaton makes his season debut this afternoon. Come on Adam, just get it together, you're killing me.

4/3 Phils 8, Nats 7 (10 innings (10 sloppy, gutwrenching innings))

What happened: While I was at work, the Phils were showing us that it's going to be one of THOSE seasons.

Just quickly, because I have to go grocery shopping and then cook dinner: I followed most of this game from work, learning to my horror that Moyer decided to be terrible and the team committed four (4) errors (??!) in the early goings... and then just when I had decided to give up on them, they rallied, blew it, and then rallied again and won. Proving once again, you never give up on your team. Even when they commit four (4) errors (?!?!?).

I didn't actually see any of it so I will leave my commentary at that.

Next: Total sports overload tonight!!! Flyers in a huge game, Sixers in a pretty huge game, and Phils out in Cincy. Let's go for the Philly sweep.

4/2 Nats 1, Phils 0 (!); Pens 4, Flyers 2 (@*$!!?!?!)

What happened: The Phils decided to spend the first two games of the season teaching us a valuable lesson: baseball is an extremely cruel, stupid game.

Just spent an extremely frustrating evening watching the Flyers and Phils lose. The Flyers had no answers for the faster, better-goaltending Penguins; the Phils rarely hit anything and when they did it was directly and I mean directly into the gloves of the Nats' fielders. It was pretty horrendous. There's plenty of time left for the Phils, of course, but the Flyers are hanging onto that 8th seed by a thread with only two games left.

Why do I do this to myself? How many novels would I have written by now if it wasn't for sports? Would I be living in a mansion? The mind boggles.

On the plus side, Pedro Feliz had a hit, like I told you he would.

The Phils picked up veteran reliever Rudy Seanez. I'll give him the Husker Du song "Standing by the Sea", just to go with the lame pun on his name. Meanwhile, the Phils cut Wes Helms, so let's salute Wes Helms for a moment. So long Wes, I'll always remember... hmm, I can't remember anything, really. He really had the most unremarkable year here last year. I mean, I even have one or two fond memories of David Bell and Abe Nunez, for crying out loud, but none of Wes Helms.

I do remember one time Helms actually lost his shoe trying to field a ball at third. Yeah, he just... he just wasn't very good.

Next: Two more games for the Flyers, 160 for the Phils. Mark your calendars.

Wait, I said I was going to update after every game this year, didn't I? Well, fortunately, thanks to the off day, there's still time for me to not be a filthy liar.

3/31 Nats 11, Phils 6

What happened: Guess what? Our bullpen isn't good. Pedro Feliz goes 0-4 in his debut; Mayor Nutter throws the best first pitch I've ever seen.

Phils record: 0-1 (fourth place, ahead of Atlanta - ha ha!)

See, here's the thing: I'm trying to remind myself it was just one game. And of course, it was. It's just that I'm kind of an emotional panicky guy and I see things like how sloppy they looked on Monday and, well, I'm not happy. I mean, what if the pitching is really, literally that terrible? And they give up 11 runs per game every single day? Shouldn't they divest themselves of that habit immediately?

But, as usual, I need to calm down. And I have. Let me see two - hell, three! - games like that one before I start throwing swivel chairs through windows. It's just... it's just that I was really feeling a win, and I had this whole idea for a post about how great Philadelphia is because I went to John's Roast Pork before the game and it was really, really good, and I was feeling good about the whole day... I don't know, they just like to ruin my days and waste my time.

Fun fact: as far as I can determine that was the first ever regular season game played in Pennsylvania in the month of March - that was our first one, and the Pirates have never had one, and they never played this early back in the days of the A's. Ruminate on that tonight while you're trying to fall asleep.

Next: Hollywood Hamels makes his season debut. I predict a hit from Feliz, and the bullpen calms down.