Phils 8, Mets 7

Dare I say it . . . ?

Ah, what the hell.

They're gonna do it.

Now playing: Battles, "Atlas" (what else?)

Melodrama's so much fun, black and white for everyone... to seeeeeeee...... TO SEE.

All right, maybe Dolphin Stadium isn't necessarily "evil". Maybe the Phils are just in a kind of slump and can't score runs at the moment. Seems reasonable. I don't know if today's three runs (every one of which they had to scrape and claw for) are exactly going to snap them out of it, but it's a start. Plus the Braves and Mets lost today, so crisis averted for now.

Speaking of the Mets, I saw their score (a 5-4 loss to the D-Backs) flash on the TV and I actually laughed. I've never literally laughed at a score before. And I don't mean I did a sarcastic mean fake laugh like "Ha ha, stupid Mets", I mean I had checked that score earlier in the day and the Mets were winning 4-2 and I figured they'd hold on, and now I don't know why I thought that. The sight of yet another Mets bullpen collapse made me laugh. I hate to just blow them off because it's a long season and I'm sure they'll be a pain in my ass again at some point this year, but really, it's getting ugly over there. Ha ha, stupid Mets.

As I write this the Celtics are losing by 19 points. Now, there's been a lot of talk lately about the NBA's possible shadiness and whether their games are on the up and up, so to speak. Maybe, yeah, maybe it's in the best interest of the league for this series to go 6 or 7... but on the other hand, barring a meteor hitting the Staples Center right now, which would be the ideal scenario, the second best scenario would be Boston collapsing and losing the series in humiliating fashion. So I'm in favor of a tied series right now... no questions asked. Yes, I know the Lakers are evil and they beat us in 2001 and their star player is a rapist, but on the other hand, have I mentioned that I hate Boston? Also, I love Kareem Abdul-Jabaar because he was in Airplane!

Wrong hat, I guess

What a busy weekend for me to miss! I've been up in Massachusetts for three days and missed an epic amount of Philly sports. (By the way, I've always suspected this, but this is the first time I've been able to confirm it firsthand: the Red Sox up there are like the Eagles down here, except times 10. Every other person I saw was wearing a Sox hat or shirt or jacket or pants or something. I'd be pissed off about it, but they're on their own turf, so I've got no real problem with it (just the fake problems of jealousy, vindictiveness, being a general jerk, etc.). It's only when "Red Sox Nation" [cut to me vomiting profusely] starts bleeding into every other region of the country, that's when those people get reprehensible. I think since October 2004, not a SINGLE DAY has gone by that I haven't seen somebody in a Red Sox hat... and I live 300+ miles from Boston! I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to take these people before I start committing hate crimes.)

(On the subject of Boston scumbags, Bill Simmons has a new column this week - uncharacteristically about hockey - which might be the most despicable thing he's ever written. Just a bunch of arrogant, hypocritical, poorly argued, poorly researched garbage. But that's all I'm going to say about it, because I'm trying to wean myself off of getting upset about that guy's dumbass rantings. I'm not even going to link to it, for which you should probably thank me. (Though if you really want to see another installment of "Dumb Things That Bill Simmons Said", I do take requests.))

Where was I before I started complaining about irrelevant things like a jerk? Oh yeah. So, I missed both Flyers games, and they lost both of them. I'm certainly not suggesting that my presence is required in Philadelphia for them to win, because that would be crazy talk. On the other hand... I'm just sayin'. I've returned home to find a Game 7 waiting for me. Puck-dropping occurs at 7 PM and that's where my eyeballs will be pointed.

I have no idea what happened in those two games but at the very least I'm upset about the loss of momentum, hockey being a game of having and/or not having momentum. Actually, I guess that describes pretty much all sports. I'm not sure what my point is beyond just saying that if the Flyers go back to playing some good ol' Flyers hockey, and not let Divey McScoresgoals take over the game like he seems to feel the need to do, they should be okay. Let's do it!

Meanwhile, I asked Andrew to text me Sixers score updates on Sunday night while I was busy at the seder. And then, of course, I completely forgot that I has asked him that, so when I finally checked my phone at like 1 AM there were eight messages from him relating the weekend's most thrilling narrative: the Sixers' win over Detroit in Game 1! Fantastic stuff. I'm very excited about Game 2 tomorrow, but having said that I can only concentrate on the Flyers right now, so thoughts about the Sixers will have to wait.

And then there's the always perplexing Phillies. I made kind of an ass myself at the game on Friday, which I'm not proud of. Greg Dobbs hit a huge home run to cut the Mets' lead to 5-4, so I turned toward a big section of Mets fans nearby, gave 'em the finger, and started a "NEW YORK SUCKS!" chant. There were probably a few f-words in there somewhere too. Anyway, then I turned to my dad, who was just sort of shaking his head, and he said "We're still losing, you know." And of course, he was right, and we never took the lead at all. My dad's not big on displays of poor sportsmanship. He's a good guy, and a better man than I.

Anyway, turns out Johan Santana is really good. I'm not ready to hand the Mets the division title or anything, I mean I'm not Tim Kurkjian over here, because they still have to win on the other four days Santana's not pitching. I still think we match up really well with them, and I suppose I'm looking forward to our next matchup with Santana to see how that goes. None of this, of course, can help the fact that he shut us down on Friday and we lost.

And then they lost the Saturday game, and won the one on Sunday, and won the one last night. They're 10-10. Who are the real Phillies? The home run hitting powerhouse with the much better than expected pitching? Or the clumsy, error-prone, non-hitting, non-pitching sloppy dudes? I have no idea. It's April 22. Give 'em time.

Not happy about Jimmy on the DL, and I reserve judgment on the various gaggle of callups that happened in my absence. I've sort of written myself into an obvious hole with this ridiculous Husker Du song thing, but I'll give it a try with the new guys:

Chris Snelling: "From the Gut"
T.J. Bohn: "Friend, You've Got to Fall"
Brad Harman: "Too Far Down"

Puzzle over that, won't you? Gotta go.

GO FLYERS!!!

Roundup of recent professional athletic contests

I have a few hours today to work on my book and do other productive things which is really exciting. But first, here's all the games I missed:

4/10: Mets 4, Phils 3 (12 innings)

Saw the very beginning of this, and then I went out to a bar where I saw the middle of it (when the Phils tied it up) and then I missed the whole ending. I didn't see the play at the plate which Chris Coste has been complaining about, so I will abstain from that particular debate (except to say that the Phils are probably right).

4/11: Phils 5, Cubs 3

Missed this whole game too. The only part I really saw was on a bar TV where I saw Brad Lidge high fiving Carlos Ruiz; I figured at that point it was safe to assume that everything was okay.

4/11: Caps 5, Flyers 4

Yeah, I missed all of Game 1. I was out seeing a film at the Festival called You, the Living which was really cool and beautiful. I figured I could afford to miss at least one game. I saw Ovechkin's goal at the very end in the same bar; I also heard that they blew a two goal lead. Beyond that I am unable to speak intelligently about this game at all. In that sense, I have no idea why I'm making you read this blog, which at the moment is less a sports blog and more a not very interesting diary of a guy who does other things while sports are happening on the periphery of his life, except that I'm not telling you very much about what I'm doing, therefore it's pointless.

To make up for it, here's a great interview with the Kids about their impending tour (I'm seeing them at the Keswick on 4/30), with some fascinating revelations about how they work and a look back at some of their more notorious sketches. I always love hearing about the creative process of my favorite artists, particularly these guys, because I find it very thrilling and inspiring. Perhaps you will as well.

Speaking of comedyness, I got front row seats for Flight of the Conchords, almost certainly the most exciting thing that's ever happened, at least this week.

Finally - waiting with bated breath for the NBA playoff schedule - Andrew and I have tickets! Thus making the next few weeks of my life endlessly complicated.

Next: I'll be at tonight's Phils/Cubs game; Cole gets the ball. The Flyers will try to even up the series tomorrow afternoon; I'll probably get to see this one. Go get 'em, men.

4/9: Mets 8, Phils 2

Well, we knew they'd lose one to NY eventually. I'm less concerned about the loss than I am about two things: ONE, Kendrick looked awful. I mean, really awful. The kind of awful that Gavin Floyd was pretty consistently and made us give up on him. I'm not ready to give up on Kyle, but... for cryin' loud, that was ugly. But not quite as ugly as TWO, all the errors! We actually lead the league in errors! Knock it off with the errors!

So, I have to admit I pulled an Irv when the Mets went up 5-1. I was really more watching the Sixers, and, well, you know how it is. It's April, they'll be fine.

Next: Rubber game, baby!

4/8: Phils 5, Mets 2

What happened: What happened? Lots of great things, that's what! Here's a few: (1) The Phils won. (b) The Mets lost. (4) Good game from Jamie Moyer, and a very good game from the bullpen. (5a) They won without hitting any home runs, and I have this thing where I like when they do that, because it's good to know, once in a while, that they're not a one-trick pony. Come on guys, manufacture some runs! Run a little small ball! (On the other hand, if they're just gonna mash four home runs every day like they did on Monday, that's fine too. I'm not even sure what my argument is.) (vi) They get to 4-4, and they get the season series with the Mets off to a good start. I mean, it's just one game, on April 8, I'm not going to get that excited about it... there's still 17 more against these guys, plenty of time for them to figure out how to beat us, assuming they can. Heh heh. (F) Endy Chavez hit into a double play. Heh heh. (7.2.1) Today was my second day biking to work, and I feel great. Maybe it's some kind of placebo effect but I already feel healthier and thinner. I think I'll celebrate tonight with a burger and some beer. (₤) Flight of the Conchords are playing the Tower Theatre on May 5! No word yet on an opening act but... oh, can you imagine??? [swoon]*

Next: That the best you got, Mets? Bring it on!

*Sharon, feel free to just punch me in the head.