I ain't heard no fat lady!

September 13: My first ever multi-sport doubleheader!

Phase I: I went to the Phils/Brewers game which was cool. Hitting has picked up, Cole wasn't quite himself but still sufficiently strikeout-y, bullpen looked pretty great. Pat Burrell looked horrendous, which made me sad. I love the guy and I've always defended him, but that was some painful stuff. Still, the Phils locked this one down, and then the Mets blew yet another win for Santana and lost about 10 seconds later. What a moment. Brought back memories of... well, no, you know what? No more memories and no more living in the past. This is 2008, my friends.

Phase II: I crossed the street and saw the (gold medal winning!) US Women's Team beat Ireland 2-0. It was the first time I've ever been in the Linc and the first pro soccer game I've ever seen in person. My assessments: well, one, even though I'd never been in the Linc before, I've seen it on TV and there's Eagles stuff everywhere, so it was hauntingly familiar. Not much to look at out on the concourses, but that's fine. I'm there for the game. Two, soccer: I was totally into it! Which is good sign, given that a few months ago I gave a faceless website $100 for a Philly 2010 season ticket deposit. The game has a great rhythm and I was kind of mesmerized at times. And you know what else? I didn't need to stand and sing for 90 minutes to be into the game. I just wanted to watch it. Of course, in fairness, this was a friendly between a team that wasn't really trying that hard and a team that was obviously inferior, plus the crowd seemed to be 85% soccer-playing girls under 12, so maybe it wasn't a representative crowd. Maybe when the New Atoms play DC United, it'll be more intense, and I'll be on my feet chanting something off-color and pouring a beer on someone's head. I'm not ruling it out. Long story short, I'm pretty amped about 2010. (By the way, I'll need people to go to games with it, so if you want to take my other ticket, contact me ASAP. Spots are going fast!)

September 14: I missed today's game. I was out buying pants. That may sound absurd to you, given that we're deep in a pennant race, but I really needed new pants. I'm very comfortable with my decision.

I was pleased to see when I got home that Blanton went 7 innings and Pat had two hits. The final game against The Brew starts in an hour and a half. All is right with the world. Now, before the series started people were saying that 3 out of 4 would be fine... and if we lose tonight, yeah, it's not the end of the world. But with a win, we can be tied for the wild card lead, and only 1 behind the Mets. In short, I WANT THIS GAME. I've wanted few games as much as I want this one. With pants successfully purchased, I can watch every pitch with confidence. Brett Myers, over to you...

Angels 7, Phils 1

Didn't see it. Incredibly glad I didn't.

The Phils' weaknesses have been exposed over the past two weeks: starting pitching and offensive depth. The first is a problem because they have three, I repeat, THREE starters that I simply don't trust right now, Myers, Eaton, and Kendrick. The second might not be a problem forever but it's a serious problem right now. This team is basically built around the idea that four guys (Rollins, Utley, Howard, and Burrell) hit a lot and score lots of runs. Unfortunately, all four of them are simultaneously in slumps, and the team is screwed. Three months into the season it's become obvious that Jenkins, Feliz, and Ruiz simply aren't good enough to pick up the slack when the Big Four aren't hitting. (And see the previous post for further thoughts on Ruiz.)

I realize that the Phils have run into some great pitching lately, I mean I know Ervin Santana and Jon Lester are great, but come on, two hits last night? On a warm night in a hitter's park? Something's wrong, and they need to do something about it before everything starts to slip away.

Tonight is an absolutely crucial game. Obviously, the season isn't over if they lose it, and no matter what happens they'll still be in first place tomorrow morning. But it would be their fourth loss in a row and their fourth series loss in a row. If Myers has another bad game and/or the lineup continues to suck they need to do something about it. Find a new starter on the waiver wire. Call up a starter from the minors. Bench the Big Four. Start Werth and Dobbs. Make Coste the #1 catcher. Bring back Chris Snelling (that kid had some pop, and we didn't see nearly enough of him). Come up with some crazy new batting order. Something! Shake things up, Charlie, because whatever you're doing right now is getting stale.

The really sad thing is that even throughout this protracted slump where the team's been terrible, the bullpen has remained pretty good. You know, the bullpen, the very thing that was this team's biggest problem last year. Why can't we have one full season where everything works???

Oh yeah, and the Mets are starting to pick it up. If you, reading this right now, are the person in charge of making such things happen, then I want you to know that I hate you.

I couldn't be more thrilled, delighted even by last night's unlikely comeback win that I didn't see. Sounds like a great game, and a moment we might look back on as a classic one if... well, I'm getting ahead of myself. It's June, I'm going to just relax.

But let me backtrack a day and talk a bit about Thursday's game.

I'm totally in love with Charlie Manuel right now for his bold move of benching Jimmy for lollygaggin' his way to first. I've often (too often for me to really comfortably admit) dreamt about being a manager and doing the same to my own lazy, dumb players. Now, Jimmy is neither lazy or dumb; he's a great player on a great team and until that moment hadn't been anything but great all season. (Well, he's in a slump, but slumps happen.) But I love how Charlie doesn't care: you don't run out a pop fly, you get benched. That's just sweet. (Myself, I would also do it when a guy swings at the first pitch right after the last guy walked on four pitches. God, I hate that. It drives me nuts. In recent weeks I've seen Coste and Feliz do it, and probably others. STOP!)

In addition to the usual goals of winning the division, the NL, and the World Series, and seeing the Red Sox get humiliated in some epic way, another thing I'd love to see this year is the Phils have a great season from start to finish. I'm still haunted by how they they got off to great starts in 1995 and 2001 and then had terrible second halves - and of course, we know what happened to the Mets last year. I don't want the Phils to be like 17 games over .500 with a 7 game lead at the all star break and then start sucking in August. That's why I love Charlie's move, because it (I hope) will keep the team focused. I love the idea of the Phils becoming a cold, efficient machine that just pounds other teams and never slacks - not when they're up by 10, not when they're down by 10, not when it's a BPS in June against the Reds. I want them to stay this good, preferably forever. (Of course, I like the idea of them having fun too, because they're a fun team.) It's staying focused that helped Bruntlett score last night on that fielding gaffe - if he'd been jogging complacently to home like a loser, he'd have been tagged out and they would have lost, and suddenly I'd be worried, because I worry about things.

It's way too early and I'm way too Philadelphian to hand the division to our guys just yet. That would be silly. On the other hand, our run differential right now is +69. This team is good, folks. REALLY good.

4/26: Flyers 4, Habs 2
4/26: Phils 8, Pirates 4
4/27: Pirates 5, Phillies 1

I kind of half-watched the Flyers game over my shoulder as I hung out with my cool friends at The Pope. According to Phil Sheridan the Flyers played pretty badly and were lucky to escape with a win, and that they would've lost without Marty. That might very well be true, but given how they were robbed and cheated and screwed in Game 1, leading to the loss, I will take it. (God I can't even think about that game, it makes me want to commit hate crimes.) Anyway, hot goaltending wins in the NHL playoffs, so yes, I will also take Marty singlehandedly winning games and series for us. Sounds fine.

We caught the very end of the Phils after the Flyers game ended, and it seemed like everything went fine there. Andrew had a somewhat drunken conversation about how great the Phils are: our somewhat drunken theory is that they are very, very good, and will, any day now, work out whatever problems they've had during April, i.e., once Jimmy and Shane are back, and Ryan starts hitting, they will be unstoppable. I really do believe that, though they decided to challenge my faith today by only getting two hits off Paul Maholm and not pitching all that well. Still, 5-2 road trip, I'll take that.

How great would a Sixers win be tonight? It would be this great (and if you were here, you'd see me holding my hands really far apart). Can they really do it? Have they really rattled the Pistons and caught them completely off guard? Are they - bear with me here - are they the better team? I don't know. This is the most crucial game. If they come out prepared... if they keep playing Sixers basketball... and, yes, they get a little lucky... then there might be no stopping them.

GO SIXERS!!!

RUN WITH US

4/25: 76ers 95, Pistons 75

Yeah, that's right, national media and Pistons fans. You just keep believing that the first game was a fluke, that the second game was the "real" Pistons. Just keep believing you can run with us. We like flying under the radar. Actually, what we really like is the other team committing lots of turnovers and missing like 40 shots in a row.

I hope the Flyers were watching tonight, and learned a little something about defying expectations (and holding onto leads).

Oh yeah, and the Phils won. Didn't see it, but I'm sure it was fine.

GO FLYERS!!!

Birthday post!

I took a walk in the sunshine today at lunch, and headed over to aka where I found the first two Mary Timony albums, which I'd been looking for, just sitting there in the used section, right in front. I always find it weird when I find a CD I'm looking for just sitting there in plain sight; I feel like it was too easy and I didn't earn it.

But enough of my ranting, let's get to the sports!

4/23: Pistons [some score], 76ers [some considerably lower score]

Yeah. Look, you know and I know that the Pistons are the better team. I'm not stupid. Neither are Mo Cheeks or the Andres or anybody else. But, I prefer to just chalk this one up to "Well, the Sixers caught the Pistons off guard in Game 1, so they won, and then the Sixers maybe got the slightest bit cocky and forgot that the Pistons are much better, so they didn't play their best game and lost, and in Game 3 and beyond everything will even out". Also, I hope to never write anything so clumsy and artless ever again.

4/23: Brewers 5, Phillies 4

I love Cole, I really do, but he's gotta know that he can't just stay in every game for 9 innings and 130 pitches every time. Charlie, we have a good bullpen this year! Like, literally: they're actually really good! Use them! Hey, speaking of good bullpens:

4/24: Phillies 3, Brewers 1

It's always fun when you completely forget they're playing a day game, and then a coworker wanders by your office and says "Hey, the Phils won!" Judging from the box score, this was a solid pitching effort all around. I repeat: we have a good bullpen. Start scoring some runs consistently and nobody can stop us.

I have a stat counter now, so I'll know exactly when you people are here and where you're at. As of this writing, there have been two visitors since last night, both of whom looked at the blog for a total of 0 seconds. Yeah! Thanks for stopping by.

I know what else I want for my birthday, and it starts in 40 minutes.

GO FLYERS!!!

The 300th Phillies Diary Post!

4/22: Flyers 3, Caps 2 (OT)
4/22: Phillies 8, Rockies 6

Tremendously exciting night for the Flyers, winning their first playoff series since beating Toronto in 2004. (That feels like 4 million years ago.) This year, I rediscovered how gutwrenching playoff hockey is and how super-gutwrenching overtime playoff hockey is and how unbelievably ultra-super-gutwrenching an overtime Game 7 is. Actually, I've never seen one: the only other time it happened in Flyers history was against the Caps in 1988. I'm not sure what I was doing in spring 1988, but it probably involved Legos, and it wasn't following hockey.

Anyway, I was pretty amped about the win, as you might imagine. (I like it when the Flyers win.) Bring on the Habs! I'm hoping for an appearance of Youppi.

Meanwhile, the endless trash talk and anti-Philly bias continues in various sources re: the win over the Pistons that I didn't even see. On the ESPN message boards Pistons fans are calling it a "fluke" and promising the utter destruction of the Sixers any minute now. (Never mind the fact that the Sixers have now won three in a row over DET.) Now, granted, it's a mistake to put any stock in anything that's said on the ESPN message boards, they being the absolute nadir of human interaction. That said, this sort of stuff always annoys me, and I won't go into detail about the levels of depravity I would sink to in exchange for seeing the Pistons get increasingly mauled and humilated as the series goes on. (Well, I wouldn't do anything.)

Also meanwhile: I didn't see much of the Phils/Rockies game but I was pleased by the news. Just to play devil's advocate: were I a Rockies fan (which I am most assuredly not) I would be livid about how they walked Ryan Howard (currently hitting like .032 (I just made that number up)) to get to Pat Burrell (arguably the NL's hottest hitter right now). That doesn't make any damn sense. Fortunately, the Phils were the beneficiary of this nonsense, and we're over .500 for the first time in what feels like, oh, many months. The Phils are in Milwaukee ("The Good Land", as Alice Cooper reminds us) tonight... keep it up, boys.

GO SIXERS!!!

Wrong hat, I guess

What a busy weekend for me to miss! I've been up in Massachusetts for three days and missed an epic amount of Philly sports. (By the way, I've always suspected this, but this is the first time I've been able to confirm it firsthand: the Red Sox up there are like the Eagles down here, except times 10. Every other person I saw was wearing a Sox hat or shirt or jacket or pants or something. I'd be pissed off about it, but they're on their own turf, so I've got no real problem with it (just the fake problems of jealousy, vindictiveness, being a general jerk, etc.). It's only when "Red Sox Nation" [cut to me vomiting profusely] starts bleeding into every other region of the country, that's when those people get reprehensible. I think since October 2004, not a SINGLE DAY has gone by that I haven't seen somebody in a Red Sox hat... and I live 300+ miles from Boston! I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to take these people before I start committing hate crimes.)

(On the subject of Boston scumbags, Bill Simmons has a new column this week - uncharacteristically about hockey - which might be the most despicable thing he's ever written. Just a bunch of arrogant, hypocritical, poorly argued, poorly researched garbage. But that's all I'm going to say about it, because I'm trying to wean myself off of getting upset about that guy's dumbass rantings. I'm not even going to link to it, for which you should probably thank me. (Though if you really want to see another installment of "Dumb Things That Bill Simmons Said", I do take requests.))

Where was I before I started complaining about irrelevant things like a jerk? Oh yeah. So, I missed both Flyers games, and they lost both of them. I'm certainly not suggesting that my presence is required in Philadelphia for them to win, because that would be crazy talk. On the other hand... I'm just sayin'. I've returned home to find a Game 7 waiting for me. Puck-dropping occurs at 7 PM and that's where my eyeballs will be pointed.

I have no idea what happened in those two games but at the very least I'm upset about the loss of momentum, hockey being a game of having and/or not having momentum. Actually, I guess that describes pretty much all sports. I'm not sure what my point is beyond just saying that if the Flyers go back to playing some good ol' Flyers hockey, and not let Divey McScoresgoals take over the game like he seems to feel the need to do, they should be okay. Let's do it!

Meanwhile, I asked Andrew to text me Sixers score updates on Sunday night while I was busy at the seder. And then, of course, I completely forgot that I has asked him that, so when I finally checked my phone at like 1 AM there were eight messages from him relating the weekend's most thrilling narrative: the Sixers' win over Detroit in Game 1! Fantastic stuff. I'm very excited about Game 2 tomorrow, but having said that I can only concentrate on the Flyers right now, so thoughts about the Sixers will have to wait.

And then there's the always perplexing Phillies. I made kind of an ass myself at the game on Friday, which I'm not proud of. Greg Dobbs hit a huge home run to cut the Mets' lead to 5-4, so I turned toward a big section of Mets fans nearby, gave 'em the finger, and started a "NEW YORK SUCKS!" chant. There were probably a few f-words in there somewhere too. Anyway, then I turned to my dad, who was just sort of shaking his head, and he said "We're still losing, you know." And of course, he was right, and we never took the lead at all. My dad's not big on displays of poor sportsmanship. He's a good guy, and a better man than I.

Anyway, turns out Johan Santana is really good. I'm not ready to hand the Mets the division title or anything, I mean I'm not Tim Kurkjian over here, because they still have to win on the other four days Santana's not pitching. I still think we match up really well with them, and I suppose I'm looking forward to our next matchup with Santana to see how that goes. None of this, of course, can help the fact that he shut us down on Friday and we lost.

And then they lost the Saturday game, and won the one on Sunday, and won the one last night. They're 10-10. Who are the real Phillies? The home run hitting powerhouse with the much better than expected pitching? Or the clumsy, error-prone, non-hitting, non-pitching sloppy dudes? I have no idea. It's April 22. Give 'em time.

Not happy about Jimmy on the DL, and I reserve judgment on the various gaggle of callups that happened in my absence. I've sort of written myself into an obvious hole with this ridiculous Husker Du song thing, but I'll give it a try with the new guys:

Chris Snelling: "From the Gut"
T.J. Bohn: "Friend, You've Got to Fall"
Brad Harman: "Too Far Down"

Puzzle over that, won't you? Gotta go.

GO FLYERS!!!

Dear reader(s), I have been remiss. I promised you up-to-the-second coverage of the Phillies season, or at least a rough approximation of same, but instead have brought you nothing lately but shoddy, despicable journalism. But then, there's a lot of that going around lately.

Let's bring you up to speed:

4/16: Astros 2, Phillies 1
Nice start from Kyle K., but the bats just couldn't get it going. Which is retroactively ironic in light of...

4/17: Phillies 10, Astros 2
See, everything's fine. So far, despite the 8-8 record and the tough Mets series ahead, I really think the Phils are in pretty good shape. They've had great starting pitching, great relief pitching, and the hitting is coming around, even with two starters hurt. The ridiculous errors seem to have dropped off too. I'll be at the Hamels/Santana duel tonight, sure to be one of the greatest baseball games ever played.

Oh yeah, and this:

4/17: Flyers 4, Caps 3 (2OT)
It's only been two years but it feels like forever since there's been playoff hockey around here. I had kind of forgotten how much I love it, and how happy a Flyers playoff win makes me. Not as solid an all-around effort in this one, not like Games 2 and 3, but I'll take the win and the guys are in good shape. I'll miss Game 5 tomorrow, but I have total faith in them!

Next: I'll be away for a few days, so you'll either have to just guess what Philly sports teams do and hope you're right, or you can try some other, more reliable news source. Up to you. Anyway, we've got Flyers/Caps Game 5 tomorrow, Sixers/Pistons Game 1 on Sunday, and the big Phils/Mets series starting in a matter of hours.

Cole Hamels on facing Johan Santana:

"I don't even care," Hamels said. "The guy could have eight arms and it's not going to bother me."

Yeah, kind of weird, Cole.

Roundup of recent professional athletic contests

I have a few hours today to work on my book and do other productive things which is really exciting. But first, here's all the games I missed:

4/10: Mets 4, Phils 3 (12 innings)

Saw the very beginning of this, and then I went out to a bar where I saw the middle of it (when the Phils tied it up) and then I missed the whole ending. I didn't see the play at the plate which Chris Coste has been complaining about, so I will abstain from that particular debate (except to say that the Phils are probably right).

4/11: Phils 5, Cubs 3

Missed this whole game too. The only part I really saw was on a bar TV where I saw Brad Lidge high fiving Carlos Ruiz; I figured at that point it was safe to assume that everything was okay.

4/11: Caps 5, Flyers 4

Yeah, I missed all of Game 1. I was out seeing a film at the Festival called You, the Living which was really cool and beautiful. I figured I could afford to miss at least one game. I saw Ovechkin's goal at the very end in the same bar; I also heard that they blew a two goal lead. Beyond that I am unable to speak intelligently about this game at all. In that sense, I have no idea why I'm making you read this blog, which at the moment is less a sports blog and more a not very interesting diary of a guy who does other things while sports are happening on the periphery of his life, except that I'm not telling you very much about what I'm doing, therefore it's pointless.

To make up for it, here's a great interview with the Kids about their impending tour (I'm seeing them at the Keswick on 4/30), with some fascinating revelations about how they work and a look back at some of their more notorious sketches. I always love hearing about the creative process of my favorite artists, particularly these guys, because I find it very thrilling and inspiring. Perhaps you will as well.

Speaking of comedyness, I got front row seats for Flight of the Conchords, almost certainly the most exciting thing that's ever happened, at least this week.

Finally - waiting with bated breath for the NBA playoff schedule - Andrew and I have tickets! Thus making the next few weeks of my life endlessly complicated.

Next: I'll be at tonight's Phils/Cubs game; Cole gets the ball. The Flyers will try to even up the series tomorrow afternoon; I'll probably get to see this one. Go get 'em, men.

4/8: Phils 5, Mets 2

What happened: What happened? Lots of great things, that's what! Here's a few: (1) The Phils won. (b) The Mets lost. (4) Good game from Jamie Moyer, and a very good game from the bullpen. (5a) They won without hitting any home runs, and I have this thing where I like when they do that, because it's good to know, once in a while, that they're not a one-trick pony. Come on guys, manufacture some runs! Run a little small ball! (On the other hand, if they're just gonna mash four home runs every day like they did on Monday, that's fine too. I'm not even sure what my argument is.) (vi) They get to 4-4, and they get the season series with the Mets off to a good start. I mean, it's just one game, on April 8, I'm not going to get that excited about it... there's still 17 more against these guys, plenty of time for them to figure out how to beat us, assuming they can. Heh heh. (F) Endy Chavez hit into a double play. Heh heh. (7.2.1) Today was my second day biking to work, and I feel great. Maybe it's some kind of placebo effect but I already feel healthier and thinner. I think I'll celebrate tonight with a burger and some beer. (₤) Flight of the Conchords are playing the Tower Theatre on May 5! No word yet on an opening act but... oh, can you imagine??? [swoon]*

Next: That the best you got, Mets? Bring it on!

*Sharon, feel free to just punch me in the head.

4/7 Phils 5, Reds 3

There, see, that's more like it. Lots of home runs, Cole shuttin' guys down, Lidge gets the save (after a bit of drama, but I'm willing to give him some time). I was at work during this one, but I kept checking it, of course, and was very pleased.

Next: Time to go out to Shea and meet the Mets.

4/6 Reds some number, Phils some lower number

What happened: I was out having fun with my friends and enjoying life, so I missed the whole thing. I heard they lost. Brett Myers hasn't been so great, but I'm not worried. The season's not even a week old, man. They'll be all right.

More interestingly, the Flyers won their final game and will play the Caps in the first round. Flyers in the playoffs! It's only been two years but it feels like forever. I'm psyched.

Next: The playoff schedule isn't out yet, so I'll have to wait until tomorrow to find out how much these games will take over my life. Plus the Phils have one more game against the Reds, of whom I am officially sick.

4/3 Phils 8, Nats 7 (10 innings (10 sloppy, gutwrenching innings))

What happened: While I was at work, the Phils were showing us that it's going to be one of THOSE seasons.

Just quickly, because I have to go grocery shopping and then cook dinner: I followed most of this game from work, learning to my horror that Moyer decided to be terrible and the team committed four (4) errors (??!) in the early goings... and then just when I had decided to give up on them, they rallied, blew it, and then rallied again and won. Proving once again, you never give up on your team. Even when they commit four (4) errors (?!?!?).

I didn't actually see any of it so I will leave my commentary at that.

Next: Total sports overload tonight!!! Flyers in a huge game, Sixers in a pretty huge game, and Phils out in Cincy. Let's go for the Philly sweep.