I made it to YouTube!

I can be seen in this video.

5/6: Diamondbacks 6, Phils 4

I want to believe in Adam Eaton. I really do. I'm rooting for him. I want to believe that 2007 was just extra horrible, that he's, while not an ace or an all-star, a perfectly serviceable fifth or even fourth starter who can help this team. And so far this season he was unspectacular, but not terrible either. He was keeping us in games. But after last night, I don't know what to think. I just don't know if I can take a pitcher seriously if he walks Randy Johnson - Randy Johnson! - on four pitches - four! - with the bases loaded - bases loaded! - and a one run lead. Randy Johnson! He's a pitcher! And not a very good hitting pitcher either! Plus, Randy Johnson is 6'10". He's like the tallest player in the history of baseball. He therefore probably has the largest strike zone in history. Adam, seriously, it's a gargantuan strike zone! It's this enormous rectangle! Just throw strikes through it! What, Randy Johnson's going to hit one of them? So what? You've got good fielders behind you. Maybe it'll even be a double play. But don't, for the love of god, just walk him one four pitches. Randy Johnson! Bases loaded! Pitches! Bases! Randy! Adam Eaton! That was only Johnson's 15th walk in his 21 year career. I'm flabbergasted, is what I am.

Jayson Werth's missed catch a few batters before that didn't help, either. But you just literally can't do what Eaton did there. It was the absolute last thing we needed. No good. I'm just, yeah, I don't like it. I need to think about something else for a while.

Sort of a Flyers preview (actually, just something I feel like mentioning)

My Bar Mitzvah theme was "penguins". That's it. I'm not sure why. Penguins were my favorite animal growing up, but I can't recall why I thought they would make a good Bar Mitzvah theme. Was I so bereft of a personality that I just picked my favorite animal as a theme? That's kind of stupid, now that I think about it. I mean, couldn't I have used something I was actually really into? Like Star Wars? Baseball cards? Books? Lego? Lego, that would have been really cool. Anything but penguins. What a weird kid I must have been.

Anyway, I bring this up because I have a history of liking penguins but I do not like, especially this week of all week, the Pittsburgh Penguins. I don't have a healthy hatred of them like I do for the Rangers and Devils, but I'm a fast learner.

So this week, we hate penguins, the little flightless bastards. I certainly don't advocate cruelty to animals (except for the fact that I eat meat, because it's friggin' delicious), but, well, I'm just saying, the Philadelphia Zoo has plenty of penguins. If they were missing one - one measly little penguin - because a hockey team had kidnapped it and kept it imprisoned in a cage in their arena during a playoff game, who would notice?

Yes, now I am officially babbling, so I'll cut it short. Just remember to boo this guy!

SIXERS!

Yeah, I was wrong: they lost. They were never even really in it. It was kind of horrendous. But I knew the Sixers would have a tough time against the Pistons and the two wins (let's say two and a half, because the first half of Game 4 was great too) are definitely something to be proud of. I think this team will be something special in 2009 - they're building it the right way, and Stefanski (whose hand I shook at a season ticket holder's thing back in March, making him the only Philly GM I've ever met) seems to know what I'm doing. I'm much less concerned about the series loss than I am about the curious lack of interest the Sixers generated in the city. They were in the playoffs for the first time in three years, and nobody seemed to care. I was at all three playoff games, and none of them were sellouts. Atlanta sold out all three of its playoff games, for crying out loud. Is this what we've sunk to? We're worse than the generally acknowledged worst sports city in the country? I wish I had an answer for this, because it bugs me a lot. There are a number of possible reasons. For one thing, our economy is rapidly collapsing, in which case I guess I can't really blame people - I can't expect people to buy basketball tickets when they can barely afford gas. It could also be the Sixers' curiously horrible marketing department - most of the unsold seats cost like $15, and if you can't find ways to convince people to buy the cheap seats, then that's no good and shame on the Sixers. All those marketing people should be shown the door, because Game 6 was nationally televised and there were vast stretches of empty seats, which is just thoroughly embarrassing. My gut feeling, though, and I really hate to say this, is that maybe people just don't care. Maybe there's only so many Sixers fans left - both because of the team's recent performance itself, and the general image the NBA has. Andrew suggests that people are cynical about the NBA playoff system, and had no faith that the Sixers would advance past the first round, so they didn't bother to pay attention. Certainly possible, but it doesn't quite make sense to me... I mean, bottom line, it's the playoffs. If you can't support your team in the playoffs, when will you? Should people just sit around waiting for the Sixers to become one of the four or five best teams in the league? Are people that disillusioned? I mean, yeah, if the Sixers went like 11-71, then yes, you're excused, you don't have to go to games in March and April. But what is your problem? Making the playoffs isn't good enough anymore?

You know, I've spent my adult life defending Philly fans, but if people can't support our basketball team in the playoffs after having such a great second half of the season, then I don't know why I bother. Morons in this city listen to WIP, they drove Abreu out of town, they think A.J. Feeley is better than Donovan McNabb, they boo the Canadian national anthem, and now they're leaving the Sixers for dead. Well, screw those people.

I just hate this mentality that if you don't win a championship, your season was instantly a failure and a colossal waste of time. Well, if you're wondering whether or not the Sixers had a good season: they did. They didn't get out of the first round, but they had a good season nonetheless. You can trust me when I say that, because I'm a real fan.

PHILLIES!

The local nine continues to rack up wins. I really, really wish they were hitting more, but they're finding ways to win and logic dictates that if the pitching stays as good as it is, and the hitting improves, then we should be theoretically unstoppable. It's a nice thought, isn't it? The Phils' shaky hitting gets a test this week against the Diamonbacks' incredible staff. I'll admit it, I'm a bit nervous about it.

FLYERS!

And then there's these guys. I couldn't be more thrilled about this. I'm delighted, even. Already I'm getting warm and fuzzy memories of great Flyers' runs I've followed... the surprising 2004 team... the classic 2000 team... and the Cup Final team of 1997, when there were Flyers logos affixed to every flat surface everywhere you looked. This team feels a bit different though. Better goaltending, certainly, but even beyond that... they just feel right, like this is how you're supposed to build a hockey team, not just get a superstar like Lindros and put some random guys around him. The 2008 Flyers are stacked, they're confident, they're fun to watch... and, well, you know how I feel about predictions, so I'll just shut up.

In the final game of the regular season, the Penguins lost against us on purpose to avoid playing us in the first round (they deny it, but don't listen to them, that's what happened). I think the Flyers should play up that angle. They should refer to the Penguins as the Cowards in interviews, and just pretend that they think that's their name. "Well, the Cowards have a great team, we're not taking them likely... what? Penguins? What the hell are you talking about?" I'm not saying the Penguins aren't a great team, or that this won't be a tough series - I'm just saying that the Penguins' cowardice sickens me.

Right, I'm off to Flight of the Conchords in a little while...

GO FLYERS!!!

The Round-up (not to be confused with "The Last Wound-up", which was a toy store in Philadelphia in the 1980s that specialized in wind-up toys, I'm not sure what made my brain remember that)

Where are we? The Flyers are up 3-1 on the Habs. They're getting outplayed in literally every aspect of the game and blowing all kinds of two goal leads, and yet somehow they're a game away from the conference finals. If they get there, and pick up a few wins from the Penguins, then we can start throwing around things like "Team of Destiny" and other inherently meaningless sobriquets. I missed last night's game because I went to see the Kids in the Hall at the Keswick. Beyond being a brilliantly hilarious show, it was fun because the Kids announced the Flyers' win (well, sort of) near the end of the show... but being Canadian, they were clearly all rooting for Montreal. (Dave mentioned that his uncle played for the '72 Flyers. I'm guessing this is him?)

The 76ers might play their final game tonight. But you know what? I say they won't. I say they win it and return to Detroit. (At which point the Pistons will be really pissed off, I expect.) I feel confident saying this mostly because I feel like it. I've decided to stop believing in jinxes, curses, and superstitions. We're winning tonight. If we don't, then, well, I guess I was wrong. Relax, it's just a game.

The Phils continue to muddle along like they always do this time of year. They won one against the Padres, and then lost one. Sounds about right. But I genuinely believe that this team is very good, and will play considerably better than this eventually. We just need Jimmy. Where the hell is Jimmy?

Roundup of recent professional athletic contests

I have a few hours today to work on my book and do other productive things which is really exciting. But first, here's all the games I missed:

4/10: Mets 4, Phils 3 (12 innings)

Saw the very beginning of this, and then I went out to a bar where I saw the middle of it (when the Phils tied it up) and then I missed the whole ending. I didn't see the play at the plate which Chris Coste has been complaining about, so I will abstain from that particular debate (except to say that the Phils are probably right).

4/11: Phils 5, Cubs 3

Missed this whole game too. The only part I really saw was on a bar TV where I saw Brad Lidge high fiving Carlos Ruiz; I figured at that point it was safe to assume that everything was okay.

4/11: Caps 5, Flyers 4

Yeah, I missed all of Game 1. I was out seeing a film at the Festival called You, the Living which was really cool and beautiful. I figured I could afford to miss at least one game. I saw Ovechkin's goal at the very end in the same bar; I also heard that they blew a two goal lead. Beyond that I am unable to speak intelligently about this game at all. In that sense, I have no idea why I'm making you read this blog, which at the moment is less a sports blog and more a not very interesting diary of a guy who does other things while sports are happening on the periphery of his life, except that I'm not telling you very much about what I'm doing, therefore it's pointless.

To make up for it, here's a great interview with the Kids about their impending tour (I'm seeing them at the Keswick on 4/30), with some fascinating revelations about how they work and a look back at some of their more notorious sketches. I always love hearing about the creative process of my favorite artists, particularly these guys, because I find it very thrilling and inspiring. Perhaps you will as well.

Speaking of comedyness, I got front row seats for Flight of the Conchords, almost certainly the most exciting thing that's ever happened, at least this week.

Finally - waiting with bated breath for the NBA playoff schedule - Andrew and I have tickets! Thus making the next few weeks of my life endlessly complicated.

Next: I'll be at tonight's Phils/Cubs game; Cole gets the ball. The Flyers will try to even up the series tomorrow afternoon; I'll probably get to see this one. Go get 'em, men.