I've never been so excited to watch sweaty men jump in a pile!

I don't really know what to say. You know, you wait and you hope and you sit through rain delays and terrible at bats and dumbass trades and horrific free agent signings, and it just seems like it never ends, season after season, and then one day there you are in your friend's house watching the final three outs of the World Series, and you're shaking like a leaf, literally shaking from nerves, and then there's that final swing-and-miss and you don't know what to do - you've long envisioned what you might do at this moment, and you assumed it would be that you would start weeping like an infant, and you sort of want to do that and you sort of want to laugh hysterically also, so you just jump up and hold your hands over your mouth and laugh and hyperventilate, and you can hear roaring from your friends around you, and they're jumping on top of each other with you in the middle just standing there laughing at the impossible image on the screen (the Phillies - the Phillies! - your Phillies, jumping around and ecstatic), and then suddenly there are pots and pans being banged outside, and all of you are loading your pockets up with beer bottles (who has the opener? bring an opener!), and your friend's next door neighbor, a little old lady, is out on her stoop and she tells you "We did it!" and she's right, doesn't that sound so much better than "They did it"? And you're marching up to Snyder and over to Broad, already screaming yourself hoarse getting a "Let's Go Phillies" chant going, waving to people peeking out of their front doors, and Broad is already packed, and everyone's marching south, instinctively, toward the stadium, toward our boys, the WORLD CHAMPS; and there's a guy doing one of those breakdancing headspin things, and everyone's setting off fireworks and some guys are jumping through them, and you're getting text messages from everybody you know, and just randomly calling people you love, even though Broad is LOUD at this point and you can't hear a thing, and the crowd just gets thicker and thicker and bottle rockets are soaring overhead, and you hit Oregon and you realize that everything from Oregon on down to the stadium is jammed and we'll never get there, so you all head over to some dive bar on Shunk for more beer and a shot and more chanting with random strangers, and you're toasting every ex-Phillie you can think of, every one of whom you love more than ever, and you hear yourself say something like "Okay, yes, I forgive Endy Chavez", and Ryan Howard is on the TV and you're yelling "Oh my god I want that hat", and then you're out on the street again and you head over to Broad and Shunk and there's more high fiving and bottle rockets and a guy climbing the street sign, and on the other side of the street a streetlight gets torn down and smashed, which then turns into a kind of mosh pit as cops swarm in, and you decide to get the hell out of there, and you double back and cross Broad at Oregon and head back to Andrew's place, high fiving everybody in every passing car, and none of your pictures are coming out, and you're back at Andrew's and playing "WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS" and singing along, and it sounds so great, greater than anything you've ever heard ever, you've wanted to hear that song in that situation for so long, and then you toast more ex-Phillies, especially Tug and Vuk and The Pope, and then it's time to bike home and collapse on your bed, still wearing your beloved Phillies cap, and as you pass out you wonder if they can go back-to-back in '09, and why not?

You know, the usual.

Still to come: a report on the parade/rally thing, some pictures, a recap of the season, and I rant at all the Philly haters out there, you know who you are.

Do it, guys.

Best of luck to our boys. Let's finish this thing.

As usual, Bill Simmons would rather be shot in the spine and paralyzed than say something positive about a Philadelphia team

Meanwhile, I think I feel all right about the eventual second half of Game 5. Oh, the whole thing is an appalling debacle, which I could rant about for pages and pages, but I'm trying to move on. I've decided to look at the whole thing as an interesting intellectual exercise, i.e. Charlie Manuel has something like 48 hours between the top of the 6th and the bottom of the 6th - will he be prepared for it???

I suspect that he'll put in Matt Stairs (or possibly Greg Dobbs) against Balfour, at which point Maddon will put in David Price, at which point Manuel will replace Stairs/Dobbs with Chris Coste.

Beyond that I make no predictions. I just remind my fellow Philadelphians of the following crucial point: we have twelve outs to work with, they have nine.

Also, we have a great bullpen and we're at home. And they have their 6-8 hitters up in the 7th. (Hmm, I wonder if it wouldn't be such a bad thing to walk the #8 guy to bring up Price, or force Price out for a pinch hitter. Assuming we can get the other guys out of course.) And we have the heart of the order coming up in the 7th.

Also, the Phillies are, as far as I can tell and per my ability to gauge what my favorite athletes are thinking at any given time, really pissed off about this whole thing. They're mad. Normally that means nothing in baseball, but when you're nine outs away from being the champs...

That's all I feel like saying now.

One more! (Or is it one half more?)

What in the... come on, man.

There isn't anything about this that isn't totally messed up and ridiculous.

I'm in a total daze right now. I keep breaking into hysterical laughter. I don't know what to think or do or say. I keep thinking I should write something philosophical and poetic about what I'm seeing and what could potentially happen, as soon as less than 24 hours from now. But I can't. All I can do is watch and marvel... and wait.

I think part of it is this: ever since I started following sports, pretty much half my life ago, I've watched many, many other teams win championships, and every time I've thought about how cool it would be if one of my favorite teams did that. But now that it's close to maybe happening, theoretically, I can't equate those thoughts with reality. I can't think about Game 5 in any kind of melodramatic way; right now I'm all business: "Cole needs to have a good game, and they need to keep hitting, and they can't let the Rays climb back into it..."

So who the hell knows what will happen this week. Not me. I make no predictions. I'm just going to watch, like I always have. Whatever happens, happens. I'm weirdly calm, still. All I want to do is win one more, and then we can deal with the emotions, whatever they are.

A while ago I wrote a thing when the Eagles got into the Super Bowl (2/5/05) that I think is still applicable with regard to how I feel about this city and what this stuff means to me and the people I care about. You can read that again if you want to, and just mentally replace "Eagles" with "Phillies"; that's probably good enough. Except it's even moreso, because the Phils are my favorite, but you knew that.

Win for it for all the guys I said the other day, and hell, win it for everyone else. Everyone who's ever played a game for the Phils since 1980. For the Phillie Phanatic, for the "Hit a homer, Wenny, for MEEEE!" kid, for every college girl wearing an Utley t-shirt, for every house in South Philly with Phillies signs in its window, for everyone who went to the Vet in like 2000 when they were only getting 14,000 a game. Man, there's just so many people that this would mean so much to, and it's just been such a long time, it's hard to fathom it, really. And now I'm babbling again and I'm almost deliriously tired, so I'll wrap it up here.

Win it for us, Phillies. But just win it.

It's so close, yet there's still business to take care of.

One more!

I don't even know what to say

The bad: 10:00 (!) start time; more blown calls by incompetent umpires; some of the most atrocious at-bats I've ever seen in all my long days of watching games; and Jayson Werth, who has been so impossibly, wildly wretched in this series that I don't see how Charlie can start him anymore.

The good: The wind; timely homers; hit batsmen; game-winning infield hits; the incredible legend that is the unstoppable Jamie Moyer; and a 2-1 lead in the World Series. World Series!

A warning to my friends and loved ones: I'll be talking about this game for the rest of my life.

Two more.

Nothing pumps you up for Game 3 of the World Series like some late-period John Coltrane!

Back when I used to read Bill Simmons, he printed a letter from a fellow Boston scumbag, reporting from Boston last year on a day when the Red Sox had a big playoff game (one of the WS games, maybe, or Game 7 against the Indians, I'm not sure) on the same day that the Patriots were about to cheat and run up the score on their way to another win. Understandably, scumbag letter-writer was excited about this, saying that the vibe in Boston was incredible and everyone was just filled with confidence and having a great time.

I bring this up because, as you've no doubt guessed, my ceaseless disdain for Boston is based entirely on jealousy. I want very much for Philly to have the same vibe - and, as it happens, I see this weekend as our best opportunity to get it.

The World Series is back in town for the first time in 15 years. We're 1-1 with three straight home games to come. The city is excited about the Phils in a way I've never quite seen before. On top of all that the Eagles play at home tomorrow - okay, maybe it's tough to get excited about a 3-3 team playing the Falcons while the considerably more interesting World Series is going on, but the Birds have a chance to capitalize on the division's sudden weirdness and climb back into a race I had written off just two weeks ago. This really has the potential to be an incredibly cool weekend, and I say we seize it.

For weeks now I've seen the national sports media doubt the Phillies, openly root for the Dodgers, talk up the Rays like they're the '27 Yankees, blather on and on irrelevantly about how the Phils have lost thousands of games in the past, and just generally ignore and disparage my team. I've seen bloggers, comment-writers, and other assorted morons trash my city, its people, its sports fans, its teams, its food, its weather, blah blah blah ad infinitum. I've seen haters and jealous losers rant and rave about the low ratings - as if I care, or as if it's somehow a surprise (Fox: when you spend the entire season cramming the Yankees and Red Sox and Cubs and Manny down the viewing public's throats, and then none of them make the Series, don't act surprised when people tune out). Call me paranoid, but I feel a concerted effort on the part of the universe to ruin this week for me. But you know what? It won't work. It just won't. This weekend is going to rock.

Our boys have come home. The game is in seven hours. THREE MORE!!!

It did indeed get ugly and depressing.

But bear with me here:

The cynics and haters and Rays fan(s) and media types will point towards the unclutchery, the ludicruously bad baserunning, Jimmy's and Pat's and Shane's struggles, so on and so forth, and although I'm not at all happy about these things I posit the following:

The Phils aren't getting outplayed. If the Rays had hit a bunch of homers and their pitchers shut us down and they won 10-1, I'd be concerned. But they didn't. The Phils had more baserunners, more and I daresay better hits (the Rays had just seven singles in Game 2, a few of them lucky bloops, a few others because of dumb fielding)... they just haven't gotten that one big hit. One or two big hits, they'd be up 2-0 going back to the Bank, and the Rays would have big scary problems. That would be cool. As it is, they never got those hits, and they're making crazy mistakes, and we have a real series. A real series in which I believe the Phils will figure out whatever is making this lunacy happen, and fix it.

In other words, I still believe, because it's the World Series and this team never ceases to amaze.

Should be a fun weekend.

Three more!

In Brett We Trust

Let me get the negatives out of the way first.

1. Ryan Howard looked terrible. Even ignoring his fielding gaffes (hard to do), every one of his at bats was just all wrong. I can't be truly angry at the man, because we wouldn't have gotten here without him, and I believe that he can adjust and get it together. But that was just painful to watch, and if he (and Jimmy and Pat and Shane, for that matter) don't pick it up soon, this series could get ugly and depressing, in that order.

2. RISP. No good whatsoever.

3. The utterly bizarre usage of Bruntlett. It worked out okay, I guess, but Bruntlett shouldn't be allowed anywhere near a bat, and Manuel could have used or Dobbs or Stairs to bat for him, and then put in Taguchi as another defensive replacement. If he's not doing something like that, then I have no clue what Taguchi is doing on this roster (but then, I never have).

But here's the positive: they're up 1-0 in the World Series. World Series! And it's tough to be really upset when that's the case.

They need to hit more, they need the starters to follow Cole's example, and they need to jump on every possible mistake the Rays make, large or small. That's all. No problem.

Once you get past the nervousness and the annoyance with Fox and the occasional uncontrollable rage... this is pretty fun, isn't it?

Three more. Here we go!

Seriously, suck on it, Jim Caple

I'll have more thoughts tomorrow, I just wanted to say that. It's bedtime.

Three more.

I've waited fifteen years for this!

Just over two hours away, now.

I wanted to spend the evening before the game doing productive, non-sports things - laundry, writing, etc. - but yeah, I can't concentrate on any of that. You know why? Because the Phillies are in the World Series, that's why.

Once again, I am speechless with excitement, and have no further things to add other than stuff like "Go Phils!" and "WOOO!!!!" I'd be more than happy to just type those things over and over, but you don't need to read that. So let's all just watch the game and see what happens, what do you say?

I know that I said I wasn't going to worry about what the national sports media says anymore, but just now on SportsCenter I heard Karl Ravech call the Phillies "the forgotten team in this World Series". Forgotten? Forgot- there are TWO teams! That's it! How can you... you can't just... the only way you'd ever "forget" about a team that's part of a group of two is because you made a concerted, deliberate effort to ignore them, which is exactly what ESPN and their Philly-hating cronies are doing. GAAAAAH!!!!!

That's it. Go get 'em, boys.

Four more.

Strangely calm

A few thoughts. First of all, let's all just remember to have fun this week - you never know when this will happen again. I myself have decided to calm down about what I perceive to be a rampant hatred of the Phillies from all non-Philadelphians, because it just isn't worth worrying about and probably isn't true (but I mean, come on, Jim Caple, Rays in 4? What in the... no, no, calm, I'm calm...)

No, seriously, this is great stuff. But the funny thing is that I've been strangely calm all week. Even after winning the NLCS, I wasn't freaking out as much as I might have expected. I was excited and ecstatic, but... it's hard to explain. Calm. That's the only word, hence my almost incessant use of it.

I have two theories: one, I haven't had the same reaction this year that I had last year. The 2007 Phillies was a visceral, almost primal thing for me; I just totally couldn't believe it, and had no idea what to think. This year... it's not that I'm less excited, it's that I'm excited in a different way. And I think what it is is that it's just confidence. I really think this is a great team, one that deserves to be here and can make some serious noise.

Two... I'm just really curious. You watch a team, game after game, and you really get to know them, and their tendencies, and all that, and now that they've gotten this far, I feel like I just want to know what they'll do in the World Series, you know? I mean, surely they can win four out of seven, right? They've done it before. They did it all year.

I'm totally babbling. Allow me to shift gears and present the following list: My Favorite Phillies Who Aren't Here And I Want The Phils To Win It For Them:

1. The entire '93 team (for obvious reasons)
2. Mike Lieberthal (gave his all to this team, unfairly underappreciated)
3. Doug Glanville (you just gotta love Doug Glanville)
4. Wayne Gomes (I believe that every fan is entitled to one obscure, terrible player that they inexplicably love, and Wayne Gomes is mine)
5. Bobby Abreu (suck on it, haters)
6. Jim Thome (a very cool human being, the signing of whom marked the beginning of this modern, golden era)
7. Everyone from '07 who isn't here anymore (yes, I mean it: Rowand, Lohse, Iguchi, Gordon, and even you, Jose Mesa)

I feel like there should be more on that list, but no matter. That's the end of me looking into the past - all that matters now is Game 1, which begins in just about 24 hours.

Four more.

Four more

Back a bit early to report that it's the Rays. They just beat Boston a few minutes ago to advance to the World Series (WORLD SERIES!) against the Phillies (WORLD SERIES!!!). (Of course, you're not coming here to find out who won the ALCS, are you? You do know that there are many hundreds of more reputable sports news sources, right?)

I didn't really go out into the revelry after the game the other night (I wanted to link to a YouTube clip of same, but I there's like a thousand of them and I can't remember which one I was watching the other night and they're all about the same, so go find them yourself).

That's okay. I'm saving it.

But I did see one cool thing that night, which is that I was getting ready for bed - I was literally in the process of flossing my teeth - when I heard a string band! I dashed outside in my socks, and there they were, a bunch of Mummers in Phils t-shirts, clutching their instruments and beer, marching up 2nd Street behind a motorcycle. I've never been so proud.

The next morning I had to step out of the house very early, and I was walking back to the house at 6:30 AM and I passed by a woman who appeared to be spraying her kids' heads with aerosol cans (I'd like to believe that she was coloring their hair red for the Phils, but I couldn't tell in the light, so it'll have to remain a mystery for the ages). I was wearing the same Jim Thome t-shirt I had worn the night before, which she saw, and she asked me, "You're not coming back from last night now, are you?" That was cool too.

Meanwhile, today I was walking around the neighborhood in my Phils cap - as is the custom of my people - and two different guys saw me and were like "Phils! Going all the way baby!" or something similar. This is what a good, weird mood everyone is in - we're all just sort of in this daze, we can't believe the Phils are in the World Series (WORLD SERIES!) and we're happy for any excuse to be reminded of it. Anyway I just sort of looked over at them, smiled, and said, "Four More". I am proposing this as the greeting we all give each other from now on. When you see another fan, just say "Four More" (hold up four fingers, too, if you can), and as soon as they win a game you can start saying "Three More", and so on. Give it a try, it's a great feeling.

I have no thoughts yet on the Rays; I'll work on it. Part of me is sort of relieved, not because I think they're more easily beatable than the Red Sox or anything (I saw that as a toss-up, really) but because of the external factor of how annoying it would be to play the Red Sox, given that Fox and ESPN and whoever else you want to name would be totally and blatantly rooting for them. But that's not relevant anymore, so I'll shed that particular bit of cynicism and move on. But before I do, here are two isolated thoughts on the Rays' late opponent:

1. I would happily pay thousands of dollars to go to a fantasy camp where you get to just wail on Jonathan Papelbon like he's a speedbag. Does a person that annoying occur naturally, or was he made in a laboratory?

2. Kevin Youkilis has the worst batting stance I've ever seen. It's worse than Craig Counsell's. It actually makes me hate baseball, just a little bit.

Speaking of batting stances, there's this. And after you've looked at that, you can look at this, and then listen to this, and for good measure, here's this for no reason.

So, coming reasonably soon, some more detailed thoughts on the impending overwhelming fantasticness that is - get ready for it - the Phillies in the World Series (WORLD SERIES!!!!!!).

With the Phils off for a week, I think I deserve a break too. I'll be back Monday with some kind of World Series (WORLD SERIES!) preview I haven't thought up yet. Deal?

Ignore the haters and the doubters. Lose your cynicism and negativity. We're in the World Series! Have a great weekend, I know I will.