FINALLY!!!

I don't know if there is anyone out there who has decided, for whatever reason, to read this blog as their final act before committing suicide. If there is - don't do it! You have so much to live for! Philly is getting a soccer team!!!

The website is already up and ready to take your $100 for tickets. Yes, I am a whore who is trying to sell you season tickets on behalf of the team's millionaire owners. But I am proud to do so and proud to be an inaugural season ticket holder, so pony up some cash, you cheap bastard!

Longtime reader(s) and friends of mine will know that I've been waiting for this for a while. I've been following the Philly MLS saga for a long time, dating back to when we thought there would be a team at the Linc, to a few years ago when we thought there would be a team in Glassboro, NJ. Both deals never came to anything, and for a long time I gave up on the whole thing, thinking that there weren't any investors out there interested enough to make it happen.

Bob Ford had a good article a few days ago in which he was supportive of the team, but mentioned that an MLS Cup would not "break the streak" of Philly's title drought. I actually do agree with him, but only because I don't have the emotional investment that I have for the other four. But hey, give me a couple of years - before long I'll accept the new team as one of the Five, and will be complaining about how horrible they are on this very site.

I've loved soccer all my life (soccer and basketball are the only sports I've ever actually played on an organized level, both incredibly terribly) and I've followed the National Team since the '94 World Cup. I've always thought it would be cool to have a team of my own, so it's safe to say I've been waiting for this day for a while. I can't wait to just sit around hating the New York Red Bulls and New England Revolution for being such loathsome scumbags.

I don't yet know what I'm going to submit in the Name the Team contest, but I'll think of something. I feel like the name "Atoms" should be retired, but on the other hand, I wouldn't say no to their triumphant return...

In conclusion, I'll see you in Chester in 2010! Go buy some tickets.

Sixers = legit?

Just saw the best game I've been to yet this season, a convincing win over the not-terrible, non-Knicks-like Orlando Magic. The boys - you could tell this even from section 207A - can smell playoffs, and are playing accordingly. So, our topic for this evening: are they legit? Can they do it?

Short answer: No. Long answer: Yes. Or maybe it's the other way around.

At any rate, the game was fun enough that Andrew and I began to talk ourselves into believing previously crazy things: Like, if they can sneak past an unprepared Celtics or Pistons team, then out-battle the Magic or whoever, and if the Cavs or Raps or somebody can take care of the C's or Pistons (whoever we didn't see in Round 1), and we get past them... bam, there's your Sixers/Lakers Final, just like we drew it up in training camp.

Okay, it's crazy. And we're a good 6+ weeks away from the first playoff game. Right now I'd like to concentrate on getting to .500, because the Sixers, despite holding the 7th seed, aren't really a playoff team, they're an indictment of the Eastern Conference's horribleness.

But we're still a few weeks from the Phils, and a few months from the Eagles, and two years from the New Atoms, and the Flyers are too confusing and heartbreaking right now... and by god, those are my Sixers. Playoffs ahoy!!!

Springtime

Do you hear it? Do you feel it? The crack of the bat? The pop of the glove? The squishy surgery noises of another Phillies pitcher's knee? The swelling, cartoony balloon noise of an expanding soccer league? The vultures circling my house, in crazed, desperate need of fresh carrion? I have no idea what that last one means.

It's cold and rainy here in Mummer Country, but I can smell some spring training. You getting that, wherever you are? Yeah, I know you can.

The Phils actually play a game tonight - a fake one, and in this case a really fake one, against some college. So it's like a fake fake game. The first real fake game is tomorrow. The first real real game is March 31 - I've got my ticket!

Andrew and I are talking about our first road trip of the year: Cincinnati, April 4-6. I know nothing at all about Cincinnati. I've driven through it once or twice. Anyone know anything about Cincinnati? Post a comment to recommend something cool in Cincy. I read today that the signature dish there, available pretty much everywhere with cheesesteak-level ubiquity, is a pile of spicy chili served on a plate of spaghetti. That's kind of deranged, but I want it.

I know I say this every spring but I think this is the year I'm actually going to update this every day, or at least for every game. I mean, I'm pretty sure they're going to win 120, maybe 125 games, and I want to be on top of it!

UPDATES.

76ERS. I'm going to the 76ers/Knicks game in like 20 minutes so I'll make this quick.

FLYERS. What the hell, guys? No good.

PHILLIES. Oh you pranksters! Fun stuff. Now seriously, boys, playtime is over. Get to work. (They'll be fine.)

EAGLES. Um... I got nothing.

INDEPENDENCE FC. (Or whatever they'll be called.) Rumor has it that on February 28, MLS will officially announce Philadelphia as their 16th team, to begin play in 2010. Longtime readers can probably imagine that I'm very psyched. Meanwhile, I have joined the Sons of Ben. I haven't actually met these dudes yet, but I'm sure I'll see them eventually (at the very least, at a tailgate). By the way, the Sons are awesome. Check out some clips from the 'Tube: the Sons representing and the Sons harrassing New Englandians, Philly style. Beautiful.

2010 MLS CUP CHAMPS!!! YEAH!!!

Another thing of mine you can read

My friend Moira has been putting together a project celebrating the history of one of my favorite things: Philadelphia! I have contributed to it. So go read a short story of mine if you choose. It's pretty vague, but perhaps someday it will all be clear. For now, I leave it to you to work it out for yourself.

So moving on, the new They Might Be Giants children's album is really good...

Some disorganized thoughts about the Super Bowl

I really need to take a shower and do my grocery shopping, but let me throw some thoughts at you first.

I agree with a letter writer in today's Inquirer that it's wrong for the paper to promote "hatred" of New York and Boston teams, as they did earlier this week. I've had an issue with the Inquirer doing this for many years, dating back to 1996, when the sports section had this giant feature article about how much we're supposed to "hate" the Cowboys... and then on Monday morning, got high and mighty and chastized fans for cheering Michael Irvin's injury. (That's a whole other issue I don't have time for at the moment.) Anyway, I'm not sure if I've ever written anything about this before but I've always felt that I do indeed "hate" other teams, but in a kind of abstract, "sports" kind of way, like I "hate" the Giants but I don't really "hate", say, Eli Manning in any real way. I've never met him, he might very well be a totally cool guy. (Well, except for the part where he cried and complained about how he didn't want to play in San Diego, and forced a trade to New York, and then earlier this year said in an interview how much he hates playing in cold weather, which is stupid because he could have played in America's most beautiful city!!! And he didn't just cry and complain by himself, no, he got his dad involved, that's what a loser he is, he gets his dad to fight his battles with the league for him. Wow, okay, maybe I do hate Eli Manning. So Eli's a bad example.)

Anyway. The point is, it is indeed the height of petty bitterness for us Eagles fans to just sit around hating the Giants and Patriots for playing in the Super Bowl, when really it's not "hate", it's just jealousy. Which is very small of us. The Patriots are an undeniably great team; the Giants have had a fantastic run. It's idiotic to deny that. And it was very irresponsible of the Inquirer to print the word "HATE" in enormous letters, encouraging us to be jealous and bitter. (The letter-writer was also a bit hyperbolic and self-righteous, but that just comes with the territory. It takes a special brand of crazy to bother writing letters to a newspaper sports section, if you don't mind my saying.)

I've long felt that the Inquirer's sportswriters have made a career of making fun of Philly sports fans for being negative, when the reality is that they themselves are just relentlessly negative people. I mean, Bob Ford, he's just endlessly cynical. Frank Fitzpatrick writes some great sports history articles, but his "Morning Bytes" column is just unreadable, unfunny junk where he sounds desperately bitter and unhappy and tired of his job. Stephen A. Smith (mercifully fired), don't get me started on that crazy asshole. Even Phil Sheridan, who I like, sounds like he can't quite believe he actually does something as stupid as watching sports for a living. I'm no longer sure what my point is.

Having said all that... I really hate the Patriots and the Giants. I have no idea who to root for. I'm rooting for any of the following to occur:

a. The game is cancelled five minutes before kickoff, and the Eagles are declared the champs for no apparent reason. (I think this happened once in the 70s.)

b. The teams play the long-fabled Eternal Overtime, being unable to score after regulation for the next 50 years. Whenever a player dies, his oldest son has to take his uniform and keep playing for him.

c. I can't remember my third idea. When is spring training?

Maybe I should think of it as a win-win situation. If the Giants win, I get to be amused by the crying and complaining from Boston fans. If the Patriots win, then the Giants lost, and that's cool too.

Now's as good a time as any for my prediction, which I'm sure you've been waiting for with bated breath: Patriots, 35-21. Yeah, I'm just that daring!

So, I'm playing one of those "grid" pools at work, and my numbers are Patriots 9, Giants 5. Those are such thoroughly terrible numbers. So I probably can't even derive that small enjoyment from the game either. Worst Super Bowl ever!

Opening Day is March 31!!!