Don't think twice (don't think twice) don't think twice HOO!
On June 11 Raul Ibanez hit a three run homer in extras at Fake Shea Stadium to finish off a 7-3 road trip. The Phils were 35-23, had a four game lead, and except for a few flaws they looked, I say, like a million bucks. Since that time, they've gone 2-11, had a 1-9 homestand, got swept by the Orioles (!), lost Ibanez, Lidge, Bastardo, Eyre, Condrey, and now Park apparently to the DL, Madson was atrocious as the closer, Rollins was and still is benched for being the worst leadoff hitter in baseball history, they can't hit, they can't pitch, they make all kinds of dumbass fielding and baserunning mistakes, they just generally suck a lot of ass and look terrible doing it, I had to sit through not one but two dull, excrutiating losses when I could have been doing any number of other useful things, and Michael Jackson died. In short, it's been a resoundingly terrible two weeks for Phillies fans who might also happen to like Michael Jackson.
I don't even really know what I'm trying to say here, other than pointing out the blindingly obvious. The problem with being a sports fan is that you literally have no power and are completely helpless at all times. In the good times that isn't so much of a problem; you don't really notice it. You can say, "Oh look, Brad Lidge is striking out Eric Hinske to win the World Series. That's really great. I think I'll scream and jump around now just like the players are doing." But beyond that you can do nothing at all. I didn't make Eric Hinske's bat miss that pitch, or help Jayson Werth catch that second out, or help Pedro drive in Pat for the Series-winning run. I just sat/stood there and watched it all happen, as I had done for months (years) up to that point. Now we're here in the bad times, and the total helplessness is magnified; I can only stare horrified as the Red Sox rack up ten runs, shake my head in disgust as Bruntlett proves himself to be the world's worst pinch hitter, marvel at the otherworldly terribleness of Jack Taschner. I can't make Jimmy hit like '07 Jimmy. The only thing I can really do is write about it on this blog, and tell you that if I wasn't getting ready to get married in nine days, I'd feel even crappier about this team than I currently do, and that would be no good at all.
So what I need to do is just concentrate on the wedding, and then go and get married on July 5, and then maybe later that week I'll start worrying about the Phillies full time again. For now, they're going to have to suffer through this nightmare without me, because quite frankly I've got stuff to do.
