Red Sox 7, Phillies 4

I was at the game and it occurred to me at one point that I've run out of words to describe my hatred for Boston. My vocabulary simply isn't big enough. I'm going to need to start making up words like Dr. Seuss. "Those Red Sox - they're frab-brabuously evil, like a Seven-beaked Zixer Zux Zax!"

Having said that, I was able to choke back my rage and avoid getting into fights with pink hat-wearing girls, and I didn't kick nine-year-olds in Ortiz jerseys in the stomach like I briefly considered doing. I can't stand Red Sox fans, but it's not their fault the Phils lost today. The guys are just in a slump, every one of them. The spark they had just two weeks ago isn't there. Bad at-bats, bad baserunning. Kendrick was awful today, and the lineup can't get anything going at all. I'm also starting to agree with Andrew that Carlos Ruiz just doesn't have it. I'd start Chris Coste at catcher every day until I found a reason not to, but that's just me.

I've chosen to believe that the really excellent Phillies of two weeks ago are the real 2008 Phillies, and right now we're just seeing a brief hiccup on the way to another division title. I hope. If they keep this stuff up, though, before long we'll be chasing the Marlins again, and that's no good. (Yeah, the Marlins. Forget the Red Sox, the Marlins are a team you can really focus some nice healthy hate on.)

Serenity now!

Been doing a lot of soul-searching lately. No, nothing to do with anything real or useful. It's more about my sports-liking hobby and how I handle it mentally and emotionally. Fortunately for me, the Phils are good this year, and I've got confidence in them. It's a strange and unnatural feeling but I'm getting used to it. Tonight, I came home to find that the Phils had lost 3-0 to a team I can't stand. The World's Most Annoying Human Being (Non-Joba Chamberlain Division), Jonathan Papelbon, got the save. As recently as last year, that would have made me run into my kitchen and destroy plates. Now, I just remind myself that it's only June, the Phils are still in first place, and the Red Sox can't literally hurt me, and I feel much better.

Speaking of Boston, here's another example: in recent years past, the sight of the Boston Celtics winning the NBA championship one year removed from being arguably the league's worst team thanks to having improved themselves via an incredibly fishy trade in which they acquired one of the league's five best players from a team whose GM is a former Celtic would have made me vomit violently with rage and hatred. Now... well, I'm not even remotely happy about it, but I have to just accept it, don't I? I mean, what can I do?

Meanwhile, I've noticed (and I'm sure you have as well) that I tend to overreact and get weirdly angry about dumb sports articles that I read. I don't know if it's jealousy or self-righteousness or if I'm just a maniac, but whenever I read something horribly stupid about sports I just let it bother me for days on end. I literally simmer with irritation. But a few days ago I had the most amazing epiphany: I envisioned a future version of myself, blood pressure skyrocketing, dropping dead from a heart attack because I was so annoyed by some stupid article by some hack reporter trying to meet a deadline. It wasn't a pretty sight. I realized also that I'm wasting my life with this nonsense. I'll always love sports, and I consider an evening at the ballyard to be time well spent. But poorly written, illogical nonsense isn't worth my time, because life is short and Book 3 of the Baroque Cycle isn't going to read itself.

So in that spirit, I'm going to spend the next few days, weeks, months, and beyond trying to keep to the following pledges:

• I'm not reading Frank Fitzpatrick anymore, because he's a nasty, cantankerous old bastard.
• I'm not reading Bill Simmons anymore, because he's an arrogant hypocrite (and not an especially good or interesting writer either, might I add).
• There's a message board out there dedicated to discussing Simmons' work, and I've checked it out a few times because it can be pretty funny (they pretty much hate him too at this point). But I'm not going to read it anymore, because everyone on there is a misogynist and a homophobe, and I'm getting a little tired of it.
• I'm not reading Gregg Easterbrook anymore, because he's a crazy, pompous blowhard. (I've been avoiding him for a little while now anyway, and I must say, I feel like a million bucks.)
• I've been pretty good about not reading Phillies message boards for the past year, and I want to keep that up, because everyone on there is entirely too negative; those places are just no fun at all.
• I'm most certainly never going to read the comments pages on ESPN.com again. I don't know why I continually make this mistake. The comments pages on ESPN.com are the absolute bottoming out of our culture. Seriously, if you thought nothing could be more troglodyte-level stupid than a YouTube comment, think again. Who the hell are these people? How do they even operate their computers? I mean, grammar? Punctuation? Are these such foreign concepts?
• I'm not going to read sports blogs anymore, if I can help it, because let's face it: blogs are stupid.

Anyway, I'm just sick to death of all of this stuff and it's time for me to take control of my life. My time is precious, I've got other stuff to do, and I'm not going to give myself coronaries anymore worrying about the crazy opinions of people who don't even know me. It's a new, exciting era!

Tomorrow my dad and I are going to the final Phils/Sox game. The sun will be shining, the Phils are in first place, and I'm not going to let negativity and insecurity ruin my good time. It should be fun, and I feel good about it.