Monday, March 31, 2008

I wanted to post my 2008 Phillies preview this morning, before the game, but I’ve been struggling to come up with something. See, I’m not really a real sportswriter (truth be told I’m only barely literate), and while I’m fascinated by baseball stats I’m not enough of a stat geek to tell you whether or not this is the year. I will, just briefly, urge you not to listen to the pundits who have dismissed the Phils as a one shot deal, and want you to believe that the reloaded Mets, or even the quietly rebuilding Braves, are this year’s team to beat. Instead, listen to one biased phan’s opinion: all three teams are pretty great, and all three teams are pretty flawed. I decided not to make any predictions this year (well, I made them, but I’m keeping them to myself), but I will share one with you: it will be a three-way dogfight until the bitter end. Expect a different team taking the lead every week, maybe a bench clearing brawl or two. It’ll be fun. Come on, Phillies fans, it’s Opening Day, and we’re the defending division champs. Let’s roll!

In that spirit, and because I haven’t thought of anything better, I’ve decided to assign a Husker Du song to each member of the Opening Day roster.

Carlos Ruiz: "Ice Cold Ice"
Ryan Howard: "Divide and Conquer"
Chase Utley: "Celebrated Summer"
Jimmy Rollins: "Visionary"
Pedro Feliz: "Could You Be the One?"
Pat Burrell: "These Important Years"
Shane Victorino: "Flexible Flyer"
Geoff Jenkins: "I Don't Know for Sure"
Chris Coste: "You're a Soldier"
Jayson Werth: "Wheels"
So Taguchi: "Back from Somewhere"
Eric Bruntlett: "Indecision Time"
Greg Dobbs: "Do You Remember?"
Wes Helms: "It's Not Funny Anymore"
Brett Myers: "Perfect Example"
Cole Hamels: "Private Plane"
Jamie Moyer: "Keep Hanging On"
Kyle Kendrick: "One Step at a Time"
Adam Eaton: "New Day Rising"
Tom Gordon: "What's Going On"
J.C. Romero: "No Reservations"
Ryan Madson: "I Apologize"
Clay Condrey: "Chartered Trips"
Chad Durbin: "Don't Know Yet"
Tim Lahey: "Makes No Sense At All"
Charlie Manuel: "The Wit and the Wisdom"
Pat Gillick: "Blah, Blah, Blah"

Anyway: let's go Phils. 2008 ahoy!

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Monday, March 24, 2008

I love the way they dribble up and down the court

I've been meaning to write something about last week's Sixers/Nuggets game, but the return of AI has been (wonderfully) overshadowed by the real story of this season, that is, the Sixers' phenomonal play in February and March, and the fact that they will probably be celebrating Passover next month with some playoff games. Why, not ten minutes ago I saw them beat the Celtics in Boston, roaring back from 11 points down with a 19-0 run in the waning moments. These guys have been winning big games for many weeks now, and they're unbelievably fun to watch. But, let's hit pause for a second to harp on last week's emotional moment (and again, I'm sorry this is almost a week late).

I was at the horrible game against Washington in December 2006 on the very day that Allen Iverson was essentially kicked off the team. We all knew he was going to get traded, the Sixers got destroyed by the Wizards (wearing their loathsome and bizarre black and gold uniforms, no less), and it was just generally depressing and sickening. Iverson never appeared in a Sixers uniform again. Now, many months later we can say that it worked out okay for him and us, so it's apparent that the trade needed to be done, but at the time what bothered me most was that the team never gave AI one last game on his home court - and I mean HIS court, because he was singlehandedly responsible for the huge crowds the team enjoyed in the early part of the decade, not to mention their appearance in the 2001 Finals - so we could all shower him with love. The media just doesn't get it - Phil Sheridan, who I more or less like, wrote a whole thing last week about how the city would be ambivalent about his return, because he was such a "love him or hate him" player. I respectfully disagree - it's the media that played up the nonsense about practice, his fueds with Brown, Ayers, that other guy, O'Brien, and Cheeks... not us. True Sixers fans loved him, because there was never anyone else like him, and there never will be again, and he was OURS. He'll never win a title in Philly, and that's a shame, but nothing takes away those ten years.

Ten years! I watched that guy for ten years, so you better believe that I was excited about the prospect of standing and cheering for him upon his return, even if he was wearing that weird, wrong, powder blue Nuggets uniform. (It beats Celtics green or Lakers yellow or Pistons blue, I suppose.) And I did. And it was fantastic. I've only gotten emotional at a tiny handful of sporting events, and I got damn close during that moment.

The thing is, though, when Andrew and I bought those tickets, it was back in October when we assumed that the Sixers would be horrible. We figured we'd cheer for AI, he'd score 40 or 50 in some kind of "revenge game", the Sixers would drop to like 20-48, and then we'd go back to not caring about the NBA. But the Sixers have been so good lately, the "Return of AI" became just this kind of interesting footnote in a vastly more interesting story. And that's the way it should be, because nostalgia is for teams who aren't currently in sixth place.

So... keep it up, Sixers - and good luck, Allen. (And go 'Nova!)

Meanwhile, we're just about a week away from the Phillies, which means it's probably time I came up with some kind of season preview. Check back this week, 'cause I'm gonna get right on that.

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Thursday, March 20, 2008

Tonight I went to the spectacular Sixers/Nuggets game - I'll have more thoughts on that, and the return of AI, later - it's a school night and I'm up too late as it is. Let me just say: screw the Sixers-hating doubters. Me and the guys and my new hat are going all the way. Go get 'em, gentlemen!

Also, I'll mention that March Madness is the one time of year I allow myself to be a bandwagon jumper - but only when Philly teams are in. So good luck to St. Joe's, Nova, and of course, my favorite, the Owls! Represent the P!!!

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Friday, March 14, 2008

Worried but also excited

WORRIED: Look, it's March 14 so I'm not going to panic too much. Let me say first that, of course, the Phils' offense is going to be fantastic. They have three of the game's best hitters just in their infield, and they're going to score giant, piping-hot bushels of runs. Do runs come in bushels? Can said bushels be piping hot? It doesn't matter. The hitting is fine, and it will keep them in contention. But the pitching - yeah, the pitching's no good. I'm kind of worried. They have no clear fifth starter yet - Eaton looks horrendous, Benson's not ready, and the various random minor leaguers they've gathered together to compete for Eaton's job have been consistently unimpressive. I'll admit that I was excited that they gave Rosario a start today to see how he'd do, but he was awful, so that shows what I know. The 2007 Phillies were able to get past their terrible pitching and win the division, but I'm not yet ready to believe that the 2008 Phillies will have the same luck. But these guys have a way of proving me wrong when I least expect it, so who knows, maybe they'll jump out to an 18-5 start to the season and I'll have to publicly apologize in this space. I'm prepared for that.

BUT ALSO EXCITED: Fantastic comeback win for the Sixers tonight, two days after a fantastic win over the (probable first round opponent) Pistons. They're getting that kind of "team of destiny" vibe around them but I won't get ahead of myself - in fact, forget I said that. The Andres, Lou, Rodney, Thad, Sammy - all of 'em are playing great. Can they actually make some noise in the playoffs? I have no idea. In fact, if you've come here for some actual, expert analysis, then I apologize, because I don't have any. I'm just a dude excited about my boys, that's all.

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Saturday, March 08, 2008

Video Show #6: The Nineties

I don't think you really grasp how great the 90s were and how much I miss them, so I've put together these videos to help you understand.

Video 1. Easily my favorite video of theirs - it always makes me laugh. Spiral is incredibly underrated and one of these days I have to get the second PSOI album. (The new Jicks is fantastic.)

Video 2. I remember Jon, Matt, Paul, and I watching this video over and over because we couldn't get over how ridiculous and hilarious it is. Is it a joke? Are they actually serious about this? What is that big crowd at the end? It's a mystery for the ages. This video just screams 1997 to me.

Video 3. I'm cheating here because I didn't get into this band until last year, but they embody all that 90s greatness and I wish I had known about them at the time. By the way this is literally it for video clips of them on the Internet. If you know of any more, let me know asap.

Video 4. The all-time winner of the "Bands I Love That Have No Good Videos" contest. I might as well finally admit this: I spent 1992-1998 trying to look like Steve Turner (the lead guitarist).

Video 5. Listen to me. Stop what you're doing and just listen to this song. You will not be disappointed. I am your friend and you can trust me.

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Thursday, March 06, 2008

A QUARTER TO THREE

At a quarter to three, Sarah took one last walk through the house. Everywhere around her about half of the remnants of the party were negotiating amongst themselves – begging for rides, offering rides, calling for rides, splitting cabs. Everyone sounded shaken, as was understandable; whatever plans they had made at the beginning of the party had been long abandoned or forgotten. What snatches of conversation she could hear were terse, careful, and not even remotely drunk-sounding; everyone had sobered up instantly.
Sarah herself was not certain how she was getting home. She thought briefly of calling Vickie before settling on her brother instead – he would probably even still be awake – but she needed to find a phone first.
She paused in the kitchen, where a guy she recognized as the drummer of the band was on the phone, one finger picking at the countertop with a nervous urgency that seemed not to match the hipster rock star image he was casting in every direction: the sweat-drenched straggly hair, the death metal t-shirt worn either ironically or not.
“Yeah, it was crazy. It was fucked up,” he was assuring whatever poor soul he had managed to find awake and willing to answer a phone at this hour. “Just this . . . this flash.” He listened intently to some inquiry. “Not an explosion – no, not a bomb. There wasn’t any sound. No, I don’t know what it was!”
A strip from a mall photo booth was pinned to the fridge – four slightly different pictures of the host of the party and her boyfriend, showing off their nice hair and American Eagle sweatshirts. While staring at it Sarah decided that the drummer wasn’t going to get off the phone any time soon. From the living room, which she had just left – it was littered with paper cups and a few of the more upset and disturbed partygoers, who all looked like they wanted to be left alone – the stereo, which had been playing an 80s compliation on shuffle for some time now, started playing “Back on the Chain Gang”.
The drummer, nodding as he listened to some apparently helpful advice, finally noticed Sarah in the kitchen doorway. He shrugged apologetically and pointed at the phone, as if this was just how it was, as if it was somehow illegal for him to just hang up.
Sarah crossed the kitchen to the patio door and stepped out into the backyard, where the rest of the remnants of the party were milling around. Near the edge of the patio two cops were doing the same thing they had been doing for the past half hour – getting the same vague, unhelpful story from partygoer after partygoer.
One of the cops was now questioning a dark-haired, bespectacled girl who Sarah had kept noticing throughout the evening – she had arrived early with a couple who had loudly broken up a few hours later, the female half of the couple driving off in a huff, the male half sticking around for a little while to down three beers and then bum a ride off somebody he knew.
Both had left well before the flash, leaving the bespectacled girl alone for a few hours to mill around and quickly realize that she knew almost nobody else there. She had evidently decided to channel her intense desire to not be there, along with the nervousness about the flash that she shared with everyone else there, into being far snippier with the cop than was probably advisable.
“Your name?” the cop sighed, taking a moment to rub his forehead in irritation and defeat.
“Wendy. Brownstein.”
“Ms. Brownstein, can you tell me what you saw?”
“I only half saw the flash. I was over there,” she said, lamely pointing in a vague direction.
“Over where?”
“. . . there. Next to the house.”
“Where, exactly?”
Wendy cleared her throat. “That . . . the bench next to the house. That little bench.”
“Just sitting there.”
“I was with . . . somebody.”
“Who?” The cop riffled back through his notes.
“. . . I never got his name.”
“Okay. You were just sitting there?”
“We were making out,” Wendy announced after a moment, having evidently come to some kind of decision; it came out slightly louder than she probably intended.
“Nice,” said some dumb-looking dude standing next to Sarah.
The cop glared at him. If he was a cop from a TV show, Sarah reasoned, he would have some kind of clever, withering quip to shut the dude up; the pained grimace that the cop gave the dude seemed to suggest that he was most assuredly not that kind of cop.
“I see. So you were . . . and you heard something?”
“Just . . . no. I could sort of half see this big flash of light, like an explosion, but there wasn’t any sound. Then everybody started to scream and yell about something. So I . . . we stopped and we looked over, and then we got up and went to look. I couldn’t really see anything. We saw the one kid, the kid who got hurt, we saw him get led into the house. I could sort of see that he was bleeding, but that was it.”
“And your boyfriend?”
“He wasn’t,” Wendy started; then she decided to assume that the cop was just an asshole. “I lost him in the crowd. I don’t know what happened to him.”
“All right. You definitely didn’t see what caused the flash?”
“I was a bit distracted, officer.”
The cop looked like he wanted to growl. Instead he squeezed out a very professional smile and said, “Okay. Thanks for your help, Ms. . . . Brownstein.”
“Any time,” Wendy said. She dropped back into the crowd, brushing right past Sarah as she headed for the house.
“All right,” the cop said. “You.” He indicated a tall kid standing nearby. He was staring at his shoes and looked a little lost.
“Oh. Yes. Hi.”
“Your name?”
“Tony Melchit.”
“Did you see this flash everyone’s talking about?”
“Not really. I was facing the opposite direction at the time. I was talking to . . . to a friend.”
“What’s his name?”
“Her. Her name’s Melissa Preenpaw.” His voice seemed to crack, a little.
Sarah watched a bit more of Tony’s interrogation, and then turned and went back into the kitchen. The drummer was gone, but now there was a line to use the phone.

3/6/08

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