(Many) dumb things Bill Simmons said
I won't bother getting into a point-by-point berating of Bill Simmons' NCAA Tournament running diary. I'll just direct you to read the thing sometime when you have a spare two or three hours to plow through it. It indeed proves Sartre's classic observation, "Hell is an eternity spent with Bill Simmons and his idiot friends." Nonstop Borat references, the same dumb jokes over and over, the lecherous ogling of 19 year old Mormon cheerleaders - how long could you spend in a room with these guys before chewing off your own arm? I mean, Simmons, seriously: if you're going to say that one of your buddies is "on a roll", and then recount some of his "funny" lines, make sure they're funny. This is a crucial point.
On the other hand, unlike me, these guys probably have wives and girlfriends, so maybe I should just shut up and start chugging Smithwick's at 9:30 am.
Time for some actual baseball talk, I think. Spring Training is going, well, normal I guess. Right now we're in the "interminable" phase of Spring Training. The first week is "exciting", the second is "wearing thin", next week will be "irritating", the final week has no name but you will find me stabbing people. I have no problem with Spring Training in theory - anything that results in the Phillies becoming better Phillies is fine by me - but after a while you can't read any more box scores featuring random nonroster guys who hit home runs in the 8th against the Devil Rays' scrub pitchers. The Phils don't have an impressive record so far this spring, but I literally don't care. As long as the pitchers aren't completely horrendous, everyone gets their at bats, and nobody gets maimed, the spring is a success. Last year, the Phils won the Grapefruit League, then pulled the off switch upon their return to PA and started off 1-7 or something grotesque like that. I mean, whatever. It means nothing.
The big talk is how the pitching staff is shaping up. The Phils have six legitimate starters, and are debating whether to keep them all, or trade Lieber for a reliever. (Or perhaps Rowand for a reliever?) I wonder if they've considered just having a six man rotation? I suppose some old school baseball guys would tell me that's a ridiculous idea, and I guess maybe that's slightly more rest than pitchers usually like. But think about it: your pitchers stay fresh, enough so that they go a little longer, and you wouldn't need to use the bullpen as much. The very fact that not a single person in the Phillies organization has even dared to suggest this makes me suspect I have no idea what I'm talking about. I'd just rather see them keep Lieber for insurance in case of injury instead of dealing him for some journeyman reliever.
I decided last year that bullpens are usually not that good, or are at least pretty good, but are rarely incredibly, memorably great. Not like lineups or rotations. Relievers are literally everywhere, and if the guys we have don't work out, we can probably find more of them somewhere. I hate to sound cold, because they're human beings, but really, relief pitchers are such a crapshoot. One year they're awful, the next they're unhittable. It makes no sense, you can't predict or control it, you just kind of hope you're sending a guy out there on the right day. That's why, though the bullpen seems to be the '07 Phils' weakness, I refuse, thus far, to worry about them. They will, to coin a phrase, be just fine.
A brief shout out to the NYU women's basketball team, which is in the Div. III Final Four, and takes on Washington-St. Louis tonight! GO VIOLETS!!!
