MAY 13, 2004 9:55 PM
PHILADELPHIA, PA
5/13: LIGHTNING 4, FLYERS 1
I decided recently that I don't like lists. Like, "Top 100 Hottest Women" or "Top 10 Large, Squishy Objects" or "Top 10 Worst Moments in Philly Sports History". Lists are just lazy; when you don't feel like actually writing or saying or explaining anything in any useful way, you make a list. No more lists! Having said that, I really hope that Lecavalier's goal doesn't go down as one of the Top 10 Worst Moments in Philly Sports History because right now it's got that sort of feel. It's like this: The Flyers had a bad first period and a bad second period. They couldn't get anything going at all. They entered the third down 2-0 and badly in need of SOMETHING. So Primeau scores in literally the first minute. I got, as you might imagine, really excited, as did Andrew, as did the entire orange-clad Wachovia Center crowd. We're all pumped. The Flyers are back in the game, they've got energy, they've got momentum, everything's going to be fine.
Something like 43 seconds later, Lecavalier gets a pass from out of nowhere, breaks away and scores without further ado. So there goes that. It was so crushing, so disappointing. The Flyers had literally nothing after that. So my point is, will this go down as an unfortunate footnote in an otherwise stellar Cup run? Or will I remember that goal forever as the beginning of the Flyers' hideous collapse?
A little later, three Bolts team up for an intricately passed goal that looks like something out of EA Sports. That was just sick. How, one asks, could the Flyers have gotten beat so bad when they looked so good just three days ago? I don't know, I don't have any answer, and it's really @$#&@ hot in my stupid ass apartment, so I'm going to stop thinking about it. Oh, it just makes me mad.
A Phillies recap:
They've looked good all week, and I didn't even see the one loss this week, so I choose not to worry about it. Hernandez, Polanco (!), Wagner (!!), and Thome (!!!) all have had injury problems lately, but none of it seems completely debilitating yet, so I'm just going to relax. (I saw none of these games in particularly interesting or exciting places, merely my apt. and Bonner's, so not much to report on that front.)
ESPN had an
interesting article today from former Phillies beat writer Jayson Stark addressing the issue of Barry Bonds getting intentionally walked a lot... and suggesting a number of possible rule changes to make this stop happening. Though I like Stark's stuff a lot in general, and acknowledge that he probably doesn't really believe this himself and is merely trying to spark discussion, I have to admit I find this issue asinine. Here's why:
a. Not a single compelling or legitimate reason is presented to do this whatsoever beyond "People like to watch Barry Bonds hit home runs", which in my opinion isn't even true. Speaking as a Phillies fan, when Bonds is up to bat against the Phillies, I don't want to see him hit any damn home runs, I want him removed from the proceedings as quickly and painlessly as possible. I freely admit that he's possibly the greatest hitter of all time, so if he's not hitting home runs he's likely to get a hit and possibly an RBI, so walking him is a perfectly reasonable and often very good strategy, and removing it from the game is just misguided. (Plus there's the fact -- kind of petty and immature on my part, to be sure -- that I kind of just flat out don't like Barry Bonds, because he acts like an angry jerk all the freaking time, and don't care to see him accomplish much of anything. I don't care if he's "making history", I want him out of that batter's box NOW, preferably back to the dugout. (The only good thing Barry Bonds ever did was when he appeared in "Rookie of the Year" and made that kind of strange face after getting struck out, a face I would be happy to act out for you next time you see me.))
b. As someone in that article pointed out, intentionally walking someone is a rather serious risk. You're giving them a free base without an out. There's a decent chance the man might score. Someone else pointed out that no matter how good he is, he still makes an out OR walks something like 73% of the time. If you want to act all terrified about that other 27%, go ahead. (The Phils intentionally walked him twice this week... both times legitmate strategies, I'm sure.)
c. To his credit, Bonds never seems to complain like he wants to get pitched to more. What does he care? So who exactly is complaining about this?
d. Here's a particularly stupid quote:
"In the NBA, Jordan was never denied the opportunity to get the ball," said Giants assistant GM Ned Colletti. "Gretzky was never denied the opportunity to get the puck. No defensive back was allowed to stand between the Cleveland quarterback and Jim Brown to stop a handoff, Even Pele had a chance to be passed the soccer ball."
Guess what?
If the opposing teams in each situation had had the opportunity to do so, they would have. Baseball is great precisely
because it allows for this kind of strategy. It's a team sport. If they're going to design the sport so it's just an elaborate excuse for us to watch huge stars have a home run derby, well, I'm not interested.
[It's kind of like a couple years ago when Curt Schilling (then with AZ) was throwing a perfect game against the Padres, but then in the 7th or 8th inning the Padres laid down a bunt single to break it up. Everyone bitched and moaned like the Pads were breaking an "unwritten rule" that you don't do that to a guy when he's got a perfect game going. Oh, that's ridiculous. How legitimate would the perfect game have been if the Padres had just rolled over and died, and not done everything in their power to try to win the game? I love Schilling, but it's not the Padres' job to help him with his personal achievements. Having said that, if it happened to a Phillie, I'm sure I'd be a bit upset, but if you want a perfect game, man, you gotta earn it.]
I'm sure I have some other thoughts on this issue but I appear to have forgotten them all. I'll just mention another pet issue of sportswriters and be on my way. This was mentioned in another ESPN column today, by Eric Neel:
"Bring back daytime starts for playoff and Series games. I know the Spidey thing was for the kids and all, but I think they might like this even a little bit more."
I'm so freaking sick of hearing this. I'm going to say this exactly once in a way even sportswriters can understand:
I can't watch daytime World Series games, because I am at work during the day. Kids can't watch daytime World Series games, because they are at school during the day. The reason you get to watch daytime baseball games is because you are a baseball writer, and therefore are paid to watch baseball and have no other job. You jackass.
Now, if you're talking about Saturday or Sunday, well, now you've got kind of a point, that's not a bad idea. But weekdays? Knock it the hell off, I'm sick of hearing about it.
One more sports gripe, since I'm on a roll: The Kobe Trial. Why, precisely, am I supposed to care? Let's see, it's a player I don't like -- who plays on a team I despise, with teammates who are all reprehensible bastards -- accused of raping a 19 year old... yeah, that sounds about right.
Oh yeah, one more thing: ESPN had a column about
LEGO today. That rules. I mean, the guy is training his son to be a Nets fan, which is terrible, sickening child abuse*, but otherwise I approve.
*Sorry, Carly...